Fuck 2017, Happy New Year!

Without giving too much away… 2017 has truly been bitch and a half with glimpses of hope for the future. I spent the first week of the year bedridden due to the flu. Then I slipped into a deep depression that’s been looming over me for quite some time before it hit hard. I couldn’t help but cry almost every day for months, slept all day most days, and nearly lost control of my life for a while. The entire year, I’ve seen various doctors 1-3 times a month for several health reasons, most resolved by now, some I’m still working on. Piled on top of this, my period was progressively getting worse every month, the only option was to switch IUDs from Paragard (which I’ve had for about 4 years already) to a Mirena, and then I was still bleeding for an entire month with terrible cramps.

Because of my health, period issues, and depression, my casual sex in 2017 was very sporadic, especially for the first half of the year. As things started to look up, I set goals to road trip and tinder across America in 2018 (further details coming soon). Then as summer hit, I reopened my online dating and started to get back on the field, collecting new players for my roster of boys. One boy lined up after another. All was falling back into place, then Chlamydia happened… Just as quickly as I lined them up, I started to turn them all away, or at least most of them. There were two key players left.

I thought the first half of the year was tough, but then the second half hit just as hard. Sometime after my IUD switch, my ex boyfriend of six years, The Man Child, called me. He recently broke up with his girlfriend (who made him cut ties with me), and he wanted to hear my voice. We talked for thirty minutes and I broke down crying after we hung up. After that, he continued to text and call, he wanted to stay in touch.

Arguments progressively got worse and worse with me and two of my roommates which just piled more shit on top of my shitty ass year. Neither of them seemed to have any sympathy or care about what I was going through. Months of us arguing I was finally fed up with it and tried to sit them down and have a mature conversation about how we’re all treating each other; this really didn’t go anywhere. The tension between all of my roommates, plus realizing that I really need to cut my expenses to make my 2018 road trip a reality, pushed me to move out of my artist loft and to an apartment where I would save half on rent.

During the weeks before my move, I had meltdown after meltdown as I did my much-needed purge. I had boxes upon boxes of stuff I couldn’t bring myself to throw out when The Man Child and I broke up. When I broke up with him, I threw all of our apartment into boxes and never looked through it for three years and now it was all looking at me in the face as I finally did my purge.

A week before my move and a day before Thanksgiving, I was in a car accident. It was a hit and run, I was slowing at a red light and was rear ended hard by an SUV and pushed into the car in front of me. Lucky I have insurance, so my $4000 of car damages and all my medical bills were covered, but I was out of work for about 3.5 weeks and out a $500 deductible, plus my entire body hurt from whiplash. Once I got back on my feet, I was barely back to work for 1.5 weeks and got in a second car accident not even a week before Christmas. This time it was not a hit and run, but I was rear ended again, but due to several cars slamming on their brakes on the expressway, which made me slam on mine then the guy behind me slammed on his brakes too late. Another $4000 of car damages, another $500 deductible, more whiplash on top of whiplash, and out of work again for almost 2 weeks. I’m slowly recovering from both the accidents and will continue to see my chiropractor and do physical therapy until the pain fully dissipates.

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I think that about sums up 2017 (at least most of the negatives), but I could have missed a few, or even left a few out to not spoil what’s to come. All of this bullshit piled onto more bullshit has really fucked up my year. However there’s an upside to 2017; I somehow found myself in a monogamous relationship with the most amazing guy. My boyfriend made a lot of the bullshit fade because his positive energy is infectious. He is truly the sweetest, most thoughtful, funny, creative, passionate, and genuine person (the list could go on and on, but I will spare you). Falling in love with him has given me hope for what’s to come in 2018 and I look forward to see where our relationship takes us. A reveal on who he is will come eventually, but I’ve still got December 9th, 2016 through the first several months of 2017 to write about.

Although I am happy overall right now, I still say fuck 2017! Here’s to a brighter future. Happy New Year everyone! ❤

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

We’ll see…

Since returning from NYC, I have seen Chase three times in a month. The pace has slowed down drastically. Before NYC, I saw him three times in a week and a half. I have a feeling it’s coming to an end. He seems more distant and not as responsive when we’re texting, however, this could just be a blip. The past month he’s been stressed trying to find a new apartment and almost didn’t get one on time so he was a bit preoccupied, which I completely understand.

I’ve been the one to initiate texting the past couple weeks, we’ve hung out some, but I can’t get a read on him. Like is his distance stress related or loss of interest related. So now I’m backing off and giving him space. If he’s still interested he will come around. I can’t waste my time trying if he’s not reciprocating. I will give it another two weeks before I completely write him off and if he texts me after that, we’ll see how I feel.

I think the main reason I feel the need to vent right now is because Chase does exactly what I hate when trying to make plans. He doesn’t give definitive answers. I will invite him to see a show or to a party and he will tell me something like “I have work, but we’ll see.” Generally, I read a “we’ll see” as a no, but he’s been a bit different. So far, it’s been fine; he will say “we’ll see” and then he usually comes through. He’s never not shown up when he says “maybe” or “we’ll see” and he follows up the day of if anything changes like if he’s running late.

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I guess he’s an exception to the rule? But really, if I hear a “we’ll see” when a guy means no, I would rather hear a no. How difficult is it to be honest and give a yes or no? Or if you’re busy, just tell me that at the moment you’re busy moving or whatever is going on in your life and that you will contact me sometime next week or whenever it’s a better time and then actually follow through. Or if you’re no longer interested, instead of dragging shit out, just be an adult and say that you’re not interested. There is so much time wasted in dating by people that can’t clearly communicate what’s going on in their lives or be honest and tell someone when they lose interest. Fuck the term “We’ll see.” If people communicated better, dating would be easier for everyone.

Rant over. As for Chase, we’ll see….

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus