Fuck 2017, Happy New Year!

Without giving too much away… 2017 has truly been bitch and a half with glimpses of hope for the future. I spent the first week of the year bedridden due to the flu. Then I slipped into a deep depression that’s been looming over me for quite some time before it hit hard. I couldn’t help but cry almost every day for months, slept all day most days, and nearly lost control of my life for a while. The entire year, I’ve seen various doctors 1-3 times a month for several health reasons, most resolved by now, some I’m still working on. Piled on top of this, my period was progressively getting worse every month, the only option was to switch IUDs from Paragard (which I’ve had for about 4 years already) to a Mirena, and then I was still bleeding for an entire month with terrible cramps.

Because of my health, period issues, and depression, my casual sex in 2017 was very sporadic, especially for the first half of the year. As things started to look up, I set goals to road trip and tinder across America in 2018 (further details coming soon). Then as summer hit, I reopened my online dating and started to get back on the field, collecting new players for my roster of boys. One boy lined up after another. All was falling back into place, then Chlamydia happened… Just as quickly as I lined them up, I started to turn them all away, or at least most of them. There were two key players left.

I thought the first half of the year was tough, but then the second half hit just as hard. Sometime after my IUD switch, my ex boyfriend of six years, The Man Child, called me. He recently broke up with his girlfriend (who made him cut ties with me), and he wanted to hear my voice. We talked for thirty minutes and I broke down crying after we hung up. After that, he continued to text and call, he wanted to stay in touch.

Arguments progressively got worse and worse with me and two of my roommates which just piled more shit on top of my shitty ass year. Neither of them seemed to have any sympathy or care about what I was going through. Months of us arguing I was finally fed up with it and tried to sit them down and have a mature conversation about how we’re all treating each other; this really didn’t go anywhere. The tension between all of my roommates, plus realizing that I really need to cut my expenses to make my 2018 road trip a reality, pushed me to move out of my artist loft and to an apartment where I would save half on rent.

During the weeks before my move, I had meltdown after meltdown as I did my much-needed purge. I had boxes upon boxes of stuff I couldn’t bring myself to throw out when The Man Child and I broke up. When I broke up with him, I threw all of our apartment into boxes and never looked through it for three years and now it was all looking at me in the face as I finally did my purge.

A week before my move and a day before Thanksgiving, I was in a car accident. It was a hit and run, I was slowing at a red light and was rear ended hard by an SUV and pushed into the car in front of me. Lucky I have insurance, so my $4000 of car damages and all my medical bills were covered, but I was out of work for about 3.5 weeks and out a $500 deductible, plus my entire body hurt from whiplash. Once I got back on my feet, I was barely back to work for 1.5 weeks and got in a second car accident not even a week before Christmas. This time it was not a hit and run, but I was rear ended again, but due to several cars slamming on their brakes on the expressway, which made me slam on mine then the guy behind me slammed on his brakes too late. Another $4000 of car damages, another $500 deductible, more whiplash on top of whiplash, and out of work again for almost 2 weeks. I’m slowly recovering from both the accidents and will continue to see my chiropractor and do physical therapy until the pain fully dissipates.

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I think that about sums up 2017 (at least most of the negatives), but I could have missed a few, or even left a few out to not spoil what’s to come. All of this bullshit piled onto more bullshit has really fucked up my year. However there’s an upside to 2017; I somehow found myself in a monogamous relationship with the most amazing guy. My boyfriend made a lot of the bullshit fade because his positive energy is infectious. He is truly the sweetest, most thoughtful, funny, creative, passionate, and genuine person (the list could go on and on, but I will spare you). Falling in love with him has given me hope for what’s to come in 2018 and I look forward to see where our relationship takes us. A reveal on who he is will come eventually, but I’ve still got December 9th, 2016 through the first several months of 2017 to write about.

Although I am happy overall right now, I still say fuck 2017! Here’s to a brighter future. Happy New Year everyone! ❤

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Threesome? A tale of two dicks…

So during my brief time on OKC, I met a dude (Dick #1) that was super hot and I was totally down for something casual, so I gave him my number. Once we got texting, he proceeded to ask about my sex history, and then asked if I have ever had a threesome. I haven’t, and it is something I really am interested in, so I told him I would be open to it. He quickly jumped in saying that we should have a threesome eventually. Eventually is the key word.

Well that eventually, to me, insinuated that we would meet first, probably fuck, and then discuss a threesome at a later date. No. At least that’s not what that meant to him. He texted his friend and told him about me. I went along with it because frankly, both guys were cute, so why not?

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Dick #1 gave Dick #2 my phone number… Wtf dude?

Dick #1 gave Dick #2 my number without my permission. I still continued to text both of them, but to my understanding still, I was going to meet Dick #1 first before meeting Dick #2. So over a few days, both of them texted me, and I was honest with both of them and answered every question they asked. I enjoy talking about sex and have nothing to hide.

Well Dick #2 kept asking questions like “What is the wildest thing you’ve done?” I told him about when I met Tampa Boy (Red Flags Equal Fun) and he even asked for the full story. I didn’t have time to really text out the dirty details, so I sent him a link to my blog. At this point, I really didn’t care if they were aware of my blog, they’re both down to fuck and have a threesome, I’m sure the blog wouldn’t phase them. At least that’s what I thought…

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Dick #2 got upset that I wanted to meet Dick #1 first. Boo fucking hoo.

We texted all weekend, and then today Dick #2 asked to arrange a time to meet me. I was honest, and told him I had to meet Dick #1 first because he is who I chose to meet from OKC, and Dick #2 is just a third in the mix. Dick #2 got pissed, but at this point, he should have just been ok with it, after all, I haven’t met Dick #1 yet.

As soon as Dick #2 got pissed, Dick #1 texted me to tell me I’m pathetic because they are basically attached at the hip or something. You can read the whole conversation below…

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Dick #1 called me pathetic. Priceless. Really, I couldn’t stop laughing.

Now I’ve come to three different conclusions:

  1. Dick #1 was really just trying to get Dick #2 laid and neither really wanted to have a threesome.
  2. Dick #2 has two phone numbers, set up a fake OKC account for Dick #1 with some hot ass photos to lure chicks in and then was texting as Dick #1 to get himself laid.
  3. Dicks #1 and #2 both got too into my blog and saw my post (Incredulous OKCupid Douche) from yesterday, now they think I’m “flakey” so they both decided to pull out of the threesome.

Either way, lesson, don’t agree to a threesome with someone you haven’t met in person yet. Also, I should really stop sharing my blog with guys I plan on fucking. Lastly, there’s some fucked up people out there, you might be getting catfished, be careful ladies.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

P.S. I’m sorry to those who come to read about my real life encounters, these douchebags from OKC needed a story of their own apparently. I promise, there are several encounters in the works that I’m writing from the past couple weeks, I just need to finish them and edit.

Incredulous OKCupid Douche

I recently reopened my OKC account… it has already been deleted because of the surplus of guys who open with “DTF” and “I have a 5 inch penis” (yes, someone opened by telling me they have a 5 inch dick). This one guy in particular though, we’ll call him Incredulous OKC Douche, was on the edge of meeting me and he fucked up.

I am all for casual sex. I enjoy it. Once he got my number, he started texting obsessively trying to meet up with me and about how he loves watching a sexy white chick suck his dick and how he likes calling women “nasty bitch.” Some chicks like that, personally I don’t. As soon as he told me that, I stopped him and said it’s obvious that our sex styles are different so it probably wouldn’t work. He then told me I’m flakey and that I am all talk.

I couldn’t help but laugh. He is trying to neg me into fucking him by calling me flakey, that shit doesn’t work with me. I know what I want and what I like; he just doesn’t have it. Because he kept trying to push that I was all talk and no play, I sent him a link to my blog and told him to read for himself. I never do that, but he kept insisting that he knew I was fake. The incredulous douche still doesn’t believe me, so I’m posting this blog. So this post is dedicated to you, Mike NYC. Do you still think I’m fake? The proof is in the pudding, too bad you’ll never get mine.

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Some details from our texting last night and today.

For dude’s out there, have class. Yes, you want to get fucked. Maybe the “DTF” and “Suck my dick” lines work for some chicks, but if you tried to be a bit more subtle and throw in some playful banter, a chick might respond better. You catch more flies with honey not vinegar. Have some fucking respect when you’re talking to a woman.

Oh you poor tactless boy, didn’t your mommy ever tell you if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

The Tale of Pigeon Bitch

While in NYC about a month ago, I thought I would Tinder/OKC my way through and meet up with a few guys. Well, there were a lot of guys trying to get me to go out, but it never quite aligned for most of them, plus I ended up busier than expected and wanted to spend more time with my friend Ana, who I helped move there.

My profiles were simple. I reopened my old OKC account, updated the photos, deleted all the text, all the questions I answered in the past were still applied, so no need to reanswer questions. Then, I redownloaded Tinder and uploaded new photos. In both OKC and Tinder, I wrote “Chicago artist and curator visiting NYC for the first time. If you were to take me on a NYC date, where/what would it be?” I filled in OKC a little more, but kept it very simple.

I had floods of matches and messages. Most of the guys saw the fact that I was visiting and took it as an invite to just fuck me, so most openers were something along the lines of, “Come to my place and I will show you a side of NYC you wouldn’t see anywhere else.” Past all the DTF openers, there were quite a few guys who invited me to dinner, drinks, a picnic in Central Park, dancing, art museums, music, etc.

After all the conversations and people trying to tell me what they would do with me on a NYC date, I narrowed it down to one guy to meet from Tinder my friends and I now call Pigeon Bitch.  That’s right, Pigeon Bitch got his nickname because his opening line was “How do you feel about grooming and feeding the NYC pigeons?” That, plus he had a picture of him chasing pigeons and another photo of him with a pigeon shirt. All weird, but the conversation was hilarious and he seemed sweet. Not only did he have a sense of humor, but he’s muscular, dark, with a great smile.

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We did not go to groom and feed the pigeons. I know, I was disappointed too! He even took the pigeon joke a step further to invite me to a pigeon light show, which was actually a thing going on in Brooklyn that weekend, but none of the days/times worked. After a while of talking, he sent me several ideas to choose from. He was very adamant about making me love NYC because I told him my friend is trying to convince me to move there and he might need to help her with that. He took that as a challenge.

We agreed to see some Jazz in Manhattan and to meet up an hour before the show at a nearby bar at 8pm. My friend Ana and I had plans early that evening, so it worked out perfectly. Ana and I went to a bar and then grabbed some food with a friend of hers named James, then the three of us walked to the bar I was meeting up with Pigeon Bitch. We got to the bar just before 8pm, and were debating if we should all sit at the booth and have it be the four of us for a round, or if I should go sit up at the bar. Ana came up with a fucking fantastic idea, I was to sit at the bar and after Pigeon Bitch arrives, James and her would send us over drinks and be flirty and pretend to be swingers trying to fight for our attention. I laughed and agreed, so went to sit by the bar.

I sat at the bar, ordered a drink, and waited for Pigeon Bitch. He texted saying he was running late, but would be there by 8:10. He arrived ordered a drink, and then we did some basic introductions. I realized I didn’t do much questioning when we were just chatting. I didn’t know anything about him aside from the banter about pigeons. I learned he got his muscular build because he is a personal trainer, does crossfit competitively, and is the assistant tennis coach for an after school program. He’s lived in NYC his whole life minus when he went away to college for environmental science.

Once we finished our first round of drinks, I was expecting drinks to be sent over from Ana and James, but then Pigeon Bitch looked at the time and said we should start walking to the Jazz place. We closed up, and left. When we got to the Jazz place, I had 10 texts from Ana asking how the date was going and saying sorry because she didn’t get the drinks in on time for our prank. I told her it was ok and I would text her later.

The hostess took us to our seats, which were at this super tiny table at a half booth, I sat on the booth side and Pigeon Bitch had the seat across from me. He then decided even though there were people on either side of us, he would squeeze onto the booth side next to me to be closer. We ordered some food and a round of drinks, talked a bit more, and waited for the music to start.

As we sat there, I got another slew of texts from Ana. I knew she was worried about me because I was on a Tinder date in a city I’m not familiar with, so I opened the texts to see a gif of Colbert doing a vigorous finger banging motion with his hands. Being that we were in tight corridors, Pigeon Bitch saw it and we both laughed.

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This instantly changed the pace of things. We went from casually talking and just sitting next to one another, to Pigeon Bitch rubbing his hand on my knee and got a bit more touchy. I knew it was because of the gif he now thinks he has a good chance in getting laid (which I’m not gonna lie, I already was planning on fucking him). I thought it was funny how his body language drastically shifted once sex was on the table.

As the music started and the food was delivered, he continued the sexual tension by playing footsie with me until we were done eating. Once we finished, he put an arm around me and rubbed my leg with his other hand. The band came to a brief break, this was his opening to kiss me and he took it without hesitation. His full lips locked into mine, and he sucked on my upper lip as I took his lower. We then made out briefly, his technique is very comparable to my own. Some light tongue with a blend of lip suction. I’m not a fan of excessive tongue. Pigeon Bitch’s kisses were definitely enjoyable.

A few drinks later, the Jazz wrapped up. We decided the adventure wasn’t over, so we went to go play ping-pong, but the place he wanted to go to was closed. We then settled to go to a bar with a pool table back in Brooklyn. He guided us from one train to the next to get to our destination. On every train platform and on the ride there, we made out some and chatted, and made out some more. The night was still young and the sexual tension was heating up.

While on one of the train platforms, our discussion escalated. He began asking about what I like during sex. I was honest, explained that I like being submissive; I love being cuffed/tied up, teased, playing with toys, and nipple clamps (also nipple biting/pinching). His jaw dropped, he wasn’t expecting that. He then explained that he’s done some kinky stuff, but really only light choking and some smacking around, but he’s never tied anyone up or used toys. He then added that he was excited to have some fun with me because there are some things he always wanted to try.

All this talk about sex, I was almost willing to just skip playing pool and go back to his place, but at the same time, I still wanted to see more of New York. When we got off the subway, we walked a few blocks to get to the bar. He told me we were in his neighborhood. It was a quiet, tree-lined area, with rows of brownstones; very residential. I was impressed and asked how he could afford to live in such an area. And that is when he revealed he was living at home with his parents! Usually that’s a deal breaker, but he’s a one night fling, so does it really matter?

I made fun of him for living at home still. He then told me that he lives on the lower level and he has a separate entrance so it’s very private. He also added that the main reason he’s living at home is because he’s saving to buy a place. He’s 28 and would like to own a place in Brooklyn by the time he’s 30, so I guess that’s a little more acceptable. Right?

When we got to the bar, we walked straight to the back to see if the pool table was open. There were a few people playing and someone already had dibs. Pigeon Bitch went to ask the bartender for quarters, I intervened and pulled out quarters from my purse, went up to the pool table, and called next game. When the bartender finally got to Pigeon Bitch, because quarters were already resolved, he asked what I wanted to drink. I ordered a Jameson Mule. I’m now several drinks in and feeling a little tipsy, but when the drinks are free, keep them coming.

As the guys on the pool table finished their next two games, the table opened up and Pigeon Bitch and I took over. He racked, I broke. My break was fine, but my game was all down hill from there. We were playing calls, which I am usually pretty good with, but every shot I took ended up being a lucky slop so it kept going back to Pigeon Bitch. I had a few too many drinks for my game to be on point. It was a close game, I only had a ball or two left when he was down to the 8 ball. In the end, I won because he scratched on the 8 ball. Just my luck.

The Jameson was really kicking in. He asked if I wanted another drink, I declined. If I was going to fuck him, I needed to sober up a little, so I told him I was hungry and he should show me why NY pizza is supposedly better than Chicago pizza. He laughed and agreed. We called a Lyft and made our way to Artichoke for some slices. The pizza was decent, extra greasy, tasty, but couldn’t compare to Chicago style pizza. My tipsiness subsided to a good buzz. I was ready to bring the NY adventure off the streets and to his bedroom.

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We caught another Lyft and went to his place. On the way, I continued to poke fun at him for living with his parents, but he took it like a champ and brushed it off. When we got to his place, we went through the back and down through the lower garden stairs. His room was secluded, so I felt a little at ease. His room was fairly big, especially for New York. There was a queen bed, a couch, TV, desk, and large closet. All it was missing was a bathroom and kitchen and it could have been a decent studio apartment.

While he turned on some music, I sat on his bed waiting patiently. He sat next to me and went in to kiss me. It quickly escalated. The night had been filled with making out and discussing our kinks so the tension was ready to burst. It took mere seconds to go from kissing to being stripped down to nothing. He kissed all over my body and worked some magic with his fingers on my clit. We have been discussing our kinks all night, so it was pretty much all action by the time we were naked.

Once I was worked up from the clit finger tease, he got up and found some rope he had. He kind of hesitated, I told him to tie my hands above my head to the headboard. I think he secretly wanted to be tied up himself, he seemed a bit disappointed that the rope was for me, but he went with it. He tied me in such a way that the rope could still spin so I could be face up or face down, allowing a little more freedom in the positions while still be restrained.

He started off slow. Kissed me gently on the lips then down my neck while reaching a hand down to my clit. As his mouth approached my breasts, he circled my nipples with his tongue. I squirmed a bit, I pushed my hips up, thrusting towards his hand and cock. He then stopped me by pinning my legs with his knees on my thighs. His licking soon turned into sucking which quickly changed to biting my nipples.

Once he got me nice and wet, he reached to grab a condom from the bedside nightstand and put it on. He rubbed his tip on my clit and down to my vagina slightly sticking in just the tip, then sliding it back up to my clit. He did this several times as I lifted my hips up towards him. He eventually thrusted in hard and deep, held it there, kissed me, then with subtle circular thrusts he fucked me for a few minutes. He then flipped me over, had me bent over doggy style. While he fucked me, he rubbed my clit with one hand and spanked me with the other. It was fucking hot. He came. I didn’t, but I was extremely close. He told me he wasn’t done with me yet.

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I was still tied up. He took off the condom, went to the bathroom, and then came back to tend to my needs. He went straight into biting my nipples while playing with my clit. I rarely cum from a guys fingers, but something he was doing was working. I kept telling him not to stop, keep doing exactly what he’s doing. He listened and a couple minutes later I was enjoying a manually stimulated orgasm from a guy I just met several hours earlier. That was a very pleasant surprise.

He untied me and grabbed me some water. After I took a few sips, I went to kiss him and grabbed his dick. He was rock hard and ready to go again. I asked him what he wanted. He surprised me yet again; he told me to step on him. I’ve never stepped on a guy, but there’s always a first. I agreed. Before doing so, I asked what exactly he wanted, he explained to step on his chest, and lightly step on his neck, and rub my foot on his dick and balls without stepping on them. It was obvious he has done this before, he knew exactly what and how he wanted it, but it wasn’t something he brought up earlier in the night so it threw me off guard.

He had high ceilings, so it was easy enough to just stay on the bed. I stood on his chest, teased him a bit by rubbing my feet up and down his abs, then while one foot stayed on his chest, I placed the other foot on his neck and lightly pressed down choking him a little. While I did this, he stroked his cock with his hand. He was really into it, having a naked chick stand on him while he jerked off. He even asked if me stepping on him was punishment for him losing the pool game. I told him yes and that he’s been a bad boy. This got him more worked up. I then released his neck and ran that foot down his abs to intervene with his masturbation, rubbing my foot along his dick and balls as he asked, then lightly pressed his dick up against his pelvic bone. While standing on him, I started to lose my balance a little, so my foot that was playing with his cock needed to be grounded a bit to catch myself. During this small slip,  He pulled me down and jerked off for a few seconds until he came all over my tits.

He got up, grabbed us some wipes, we cleaned up, and fell asleep. He spooned me the whole night, which is always a nice feeling and even nicer when you get woken up to a throbbing cock pushing up against you while having your clit lightly rubbed. I always love being woken up to morning sex.

He grabbed a condom. I told him to sit on the couch. He listened. I was still in control from stepping on him the night before. He was way more submissive than I usually like, but I played along. I straddled him, not taking him in yet. I kissed him, then lightly bit his neck, kissed down his chest as I played with his dick. He quickly unwrapped the condom, and I grabbed in from him, sliding it down his cock, then played some more, teasing him a bit by running his tip across my lower lips. He kept trying to grab hold of his dick to get inside me, I kept pushing his hands away not allowing it. Once he stopped fighting it, I inserted just the tip and lightly took it in and out of me, then slowly took him in deeper and deeper gradually. Once I finally took him in to his base, I picked up the speed and fucked him. He came. I didn’t.

I got up, grabbed some water while he took off the condom and went to the bathroom. I laid on his bed, exhausted from only sleeping about four hours, I started to drift a little. He came back and laid next to me, kissed me gently and started to work his magic with his fingers. As good as it felt, I wasn’t going to cum, I was spent. I grabbed his hand to stop him and we laid there cuddling in silence for several minutes and drifted into a  nap.

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We woke up to his alarm about an hour later. He invited me to take a shower with him. Although he had a bathroom across the hall from his bedroom, the washer and dryer was also next to his room. He heard his mom doing laundry, so before I could walk out to take a shower with him, he told me to wait so he could check to see if she was there. I laughed, after a night of fucking, I was pulled back into reality. He was a 28-year-old guy living in the garden level of his parents place.

We showered, got dressed, and went our separate ways. Since that night, Pigeon Bitch has texted from time to time, he’s always the one to initiate. I know there’s no way we could ever actually date even if I lived in NYC, but I guess if I’m ever visiting NYC or if he was ever in Chicago, he’s a nice option to fuck.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Capture the Flag Boy and MIA Texts #2

May 13th I got a text from Caden aka Capture the Flag Boy. The last time I heard from him, he was trying to hang out Valentine’s Day, then before that, it was December. In today’s casual hookup culture, people come and go. One second, you’re hanging out regularly, the next, the person is MIA and suddenly reappears months later. This is post two of five about Capture the Flag Boy and MIA Texts.

Capture the Flag Boy and MIA Texts #2

After the first date (see Capture the Flag Boy and MIA Texts #1), we texted back and forth for a few weeks trying to make plans to hang out again, but our schedules never aligned. We both eventually gave up and I almost totally forgot about him, that is, until a month later. Capture the Flag Boy added me on Facebook about a month after we stopped texting each other.

I was a bit thrown off. Generally I don’t add guys on Facebook I’ve only been on one date with, especially if we met online. I accepted it, then texted him to sarcastically question the befriending. We then caught up via text and he told me he was volunteering as a stage hand for a theatre and offered me free tickets to the show. I accepted and gave him a date for the show a couple weeks later.

The night before the show, my roommate Andy had a friend over photographing him. I have a bit of photography experience myself, so when I saw the strobe in Andy’s room, I was eager to see what was going on. I watched as they finished up their shoot, then I went and sat to do some work in the living room. Once they tore down the lighting, Andy was getting dressed for them to go out that evening. His friend, David, came out and introduced himself. David is about 5’9″, much shorter than I usually go for, but still taller than me. He’s got freckles, light brown eyes, brown hair, and perfect teeth with a great smile. Very sweet and boyish features.

David told me about his experience as a photographer and how he went to college with Andy. We got talking about all things photo and the conversation was flawlessly smooth. We instantly became comfortable with one another. As Andy came out and saw us talking, he interrupted and said I should come out to the bars with them. I agreed, got dressed, and we all headed out.

Andy was DJing a set at the first bar of the evening, so when we arrived, he went to the DJ booth and David and I were left alone at the table together. We got chatting again and naturally fell into light, flirty conversation. I was trying to be supportive of Andy as he was DJing, but was so distracted by David. When Andy came down from the booth, David and I both congratulated Andy, and Andy stole David away from me for a smoke.

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When they came back, Andy said we should all go dancing. I agreed and we were off to the next bar. We walked in, David asked what I wanted to drink and he made his way to the bar as Andy and I made our way to the back dancing area. Andy told me that David liked me, which was obvious. He then proceeded to tell me how good of a guy he is. Caveat, David doesn’t live in Chicago. I didn’t care, I really liked him.

David came bearing drinks. We sat on the couches in the back of the club and sipped and chatted some more. David now sitting right next to me, he put his hand on my thigh, gently rubbing it. He was sweet, but obviously nervous. It seemed like he was unsure of how to navigate the scenario.

Several of our friends showed up. I got up and gave hugs, and then they pulled me to the dance floor. I looked at David and did a come hither finger motion. He followed us to the dance floor. It was soul night, so it was lighter and more harmless than a night of grinding at the club. David and I danced and laughed and danced some more. It was a 4am bar and we didn’t realize the time till lights went up and it was last call.

Andy, David, and I waved down a cab and went home. David, who was planning on crashing on a couch, asked if he could crash on my bed. He said that we didn’t need to have sex or anything, he just wanted something more comfortable than a couch. I laughed and told him of course, I was already planning on having him sleep in my bed.

We got home and I took him straight to my room. I got down to my tank top and underwear and he stripped down to his boxers. We hadn’t kissed or anything at this point, but we were already half naked. I climbed into bed. He followed. We laid there and started talking. If all the talking and dancing wasn’t enough, we continued. After about another hour of talking, he finally made his move and kissed me. We ended up making out for a while and pausing every once in a while to chat more. There was some feeling each other up, but he was very hesitant with every little thing he did. I wanted to sleep with him, but I was also kind of liking the slow pace he was setting.

After a couple hours of this, we realized it was 7am and he had to wake up by 10am. He spooned me and we cuddled then next three hours until his alarm went off. The next morning, we ate breakfast, he said his good bye and told me if I was ever near him in Bloomington, I should call him. He had one more night in Chicago, but already had plans with another friend.

I went back to bed and then several hours later woke up to get ready for the theatre. I brought my friend Geoffrey to the show. It was a hot summer day, I dressed up in a sexy short black, red, and white paisley dress and black wedges. We arrived, got our tickets from will call and found our seats. There was absolutely no cell phone reception in the theatre, so I couldn’t text Caden to thank him and say that we made it, but he found us anyways. He was up in the balcony so he yelled down to say hi. Oh my god, I forgot how sexy his smile was. He black and puerto rican mixed, long maintained dreads, angular facial features, tall, fit, and great eyes.

During intermission, Geoffrey and I went outside to chat and so he could smoke a cigarette. I told Geoffrey everything about David and Caden. I explained I just met David last night, but kind of wanted to see if him and his friend wanted to meet us for drinks, but I also wanted to tell Caden he should join us as a thank you for the tickets. Geoffrey helped me and said I should text David and see what he says because he only has one night left and if he can’t I can then tell Caden. This seemed like a great idea, so I texted David.

We then went back into the receptionless theatre and watched the 2nd half of the show. When the show ended, Geoffrey and I made our way out, but Caden stopped us along the way. We thanked him, I introduced Geoffrey to him, and said I would be right back with them so I could step out to the bathroom to check my phone. Once in the bathroom, I tried checking my phone, but because of the lack of cell reception, there was nothing. I went back out to the boys. Caden was kind of lingering, I then thanked him again and told him we should get drinks sometime next week because I had a friend in town that night and already had plans with him, hoping that David would still message me. We said our goodbyes and Geoffrey and I walked out.

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As soon as we got out of the theatre, I got the text. David wasn’t able to make it out that night. I blew off Caden with hope of seeing David, but that failed. I was bummed, but then went and danced my sorrows away in Boystown with Geoffrey.

After that night, Caden disappeared yet again for another month… a recurring theme with Capture the Flag Boy. Boys that go MIA instantly fall into the red flag category, yet for some reason he still had me intrigued.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Capture the Flag Boy and MIA Texts #1

Last night I got a text from Caden aka Capture the Flag Boy. The last time I heard from him, he was trying to hang out Valentine’s Day, then before that, it was December. In today’s casual hookup culture, people come and go. One second, you’re hanging out regularly, the next, the person is MIA and suddenly reappears months later. This is post one of five about Capture the Flag Boy and MIA Texts.

Capture the Flag Boy and MIA Texts #1

Let’s back up. I met Capture the Flag Boy on OKC in April 2015. His introduction was just a “Hi :)” which I usually don’t respond to, but I made an exception for him. He was tall, dark, handsome, with a great smile. We messaged only a few messages before he asked for my number. Once again, I usually don’t give my number right away, but I made another exception for him.

As we texted, he asked what my ideal first date is. I told him anything but the typical first date drinks/dinner and the first date interview process. I prefer something where we can be actively doing something fun. With this insight, he proposed a photo scavenger hunt of sorts at the Art Institute. We were to both show up independently and send each other photos of the art around us as clues to help us find one another. Well he wanted to do this on a Thursday evening, but I work Thursday evenings. There wasn’t another day that worked for either of us so we scratched that idea, although I was impressed with his creativity.

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Because his idea was great, but flawed in the timing, he said it’s my turn to come up with something. We were both free that coming Friday, which just so happened to be the Pilsen Art Walk, which was perfect to keep the art theme consistent, but with a twist. My idea, we would both meet up at the Pilsen Art Walk and play a game of one on one capture the flag.

On Friday, we met in front of the main building of the Pilsen Art Walk to discuss rules. The rules we made up for one on one capture the flag:

• We were to stay in the main building
• We start at the same place, but the first 2 minutes is hiding/separation time
• The flag must be visible and removable by a swift tug
• Studios and galleries are safety zones, walking only, no capturing of flags
• Hallways were war zones, chasing/hiding/running/capturing of flags permitted
• Once you capture a flag, it must be placed where it’s visible and easily removable
• Capturing the flag back once it was taken is allowed
• To win, you must exit the front door of the building with both flags
• Best 2 out of 3 wins, loser buys drinks

We each put our bandanas in our back pockets and the games began.

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Round one, we went our separate ways and found each other pretty quick in one of the galleries. We mingled, I told him about the art, but then he ran for his escape. I bolted in the other direction to hide. After several minutes of chasing, hiding, and playfully trying to capture the flag while almost groping each other, he cornered me on the first floor. I was screwed. I tried reaching for his flag, he turned, I left myself open as I was reaching, he spun, blocked his flag with one hand and grabbed my flag with his other hand. He ran, but in the wrong direction. He put my flag in his back pocket, but kept running without guarding them. I swiped them and booked it in the other direction making it out the front door. After making it out, Caden claimed the only reason I won is because I had the advantage of having been there before. He wasn’t wrong.

Round two, I tried a new strategy. I found a reflective window around the corner and the hall on the third floor. I was in plain sight. I stood there looking out the window, while really watching the reflections, waiting for him to walk up behind me. Nearly five minutes passed and he still hasn’t found me, or so I thought. I went to go look for him, but stupid me, I didn’t approach the corner carefully enough. He was standing there waiting for me to move. I must have missed see him spot me. He grabbed my flag and booked it. I chased him down the stairs and we nearly knocked several people down, spilling one of their drinks. Apologetically, I stopped, Caden kept running. He won round two. We were now tied.

Round three, everything was on the line. This determined the winner and both of us were being extra competitive. We both kicked up our game and slid in and out of galleries, chasing and hiding and laughing. It was beginning to get crowded. It made it more difficult for us to playfully attack each other for our flags. After dodging people all the way down the stairs, we corned each other and started to walk in circles like we were about to brawl. He swung and missed as he reached for my flag. I went in with a right hook to grab his but he spun the other direction. We kept spinning and circling and grabbing without success. It became a dance. As more and more people crowded the space, he surrendered. He was concerned that it was no longer safe. He gave me his flag and I ran out the front door. He followed close behind me. I bragged, and he gave me a congrats.

After his congratulations there was a pause. All I wanted from him was for him to kiss me at that moment, but it didn’t happen. All this sexual tension was built from us chasing each other and then there was a perfect opening and he didn’t take it. Fail. Once the pause became slightly awkward, he asked where we should go for drinks. We went to Simone’s, ordered our drinks, then the interview process of the first date began, but it was light hearted because we broke the ice with our game of capture the flag.

A few drinks later, I realized the time and said I had to get home. I had to wake up in about six hours to go to work and I was exhausted from running around. I told him where I was headed, he realized we lived nearby each other, we both caught the Ashland bus back towards Lakeview. We talked the whole way, his stop came first, he said bye and we went our separate ways. Even though we didn’t kiss, there was still this spark from the date. I had a really good time with him. It was by far the most memorable first date I have ever had.

We texted back and forth for the rest of the month trying to make plans, but it never panned out. I gave up and eventually forgot about Capture the Flag Boy… that is, until the next time I heard from him a month later.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus