Doodling and Stalking

Doodling your crushes name a million times is the childhood equivalent to facebook/social media stalking your crush. Think back to when you were a kid. I remember being in elementary school when I would write my crushes’ names with hearts and writing in my diary about them all the time. It was obsessive. What drives us to do this?

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His name was Jeremy. I’ve known him since preschool. Suddenly, in 2nd grade, he was the only thing I could think about. My best friend Kelsey had also developed a crush on Jacob. We both thought it was serendipitous that our initials for our crushes and us matched so we both wrote just the first initials “K+J” in all our notes and hearts to be more secretive.

When I would spend the night at Kelsey’s, there were many hours spent just talking about Jeremy and Jacob while simultaneously doodling away “K+J 4Ever,””Mr. & Mrs. K + J,”etc. We would then stash these doodles and notes in a box that was put under her bed.

At Kelsey’s birthday party, all of the 2nd grade was invited to her place. There was a bouncy house, games to play, and a coloring table with both coloring books and scrap paper. Well I guess some of our doodles didn’t make it into the box because somehow a few of them ended up in the pile of scrap paper. This boy named Brandon found it, and because it was at Kelsey’s place, he announced that Kelsey has a crush on someone with the letter J.

I was relieved that he didn’t assume it was me, but Kelsey was mortified. We were still at the age where boys and girls thought it was gross if someone liked you, but at the same time we were all starting to slowly develop crushes.

I lived in a small town, so there were only about 30 kids in our grade. Surprisingly, though, there were four guys who had names that started with J. Jeremy, Jacob, James, and Joey. Although it was mortifying for Kelsey at the moment, nothing really came from it after that day. No one pried enough to figure out who she had a crush on and life went on.

Looking back at it though, if we were older, would the boys cared more to figure it out? Would it have worked in our advantage for our crushes to find out we liked them? At what point do you reveal to your crush that you like them?

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I’m 27 now. Having a crush seems like a weird past time, but in reality, I get crushes all the time. I realize I have a crush (as in I like someone but nothing sexual/romantic has happened yet) on someone or that I actually have emotional feelings for someone I’m sleeping with when I start to pay attention to their Facebook. Not just in my news feed, but I will look them up and look at their photos and posts. The more I do this, the bigger the crush. I’ve recently wrote off boys emotionally, so suddenly, my social media use has dropped significantly. I’m not constantly checking my crushes’ statuses and recent photos. It is kind of a relief to stop thinking so much about boys.

However, during my break from boys, I’ve started to wonder if people should just be straight forward and let someone know that they like them. The worst that could happen is that they tell you they don’t have feelings back. On the flip side, they might feel the same way. I would save so much time and energy if I just asked out my crushes instead of waiting for them to possibly come to me. But then again, is that too forward? Why is it that women are to sit back and wait for the guys to chase them? Maybe once I’m done with my break, I will try to be more honest and forward instead of sitting back waiting for my crushes to chase me.

Just something I’ve been thinking about during this break.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

The Quickest Strip Tease

My parents’ friends were going on a vacation for a week, so my parents agreed to watch their two sons Cory and Sam. I was probably six or seven years old and Cory was a year or two older than me. Even at such a young age, I clearly remember liking boys already. I had a huge crush on Cory and this week of him staying with my family was a dream come true, that is if I could get him to notice me.

Cory, Sam, and my two brothers Jack and Dylan were soaked into playing Super Nintendo for most the week. I tried to hang out with them, but they couldn’t be bothered with a girl wanting to play with the boys. It wasn’t fair.

Throughout the week, I tried to play video games, build legos, and shoot nurf guns with them to get Cory’s attention. My brothers kept telling me to leave them alone and I felt completely hurt. After days of this, I was fed up and started to scream at my brothers, “It’s not fair! I just want to play with you guys! Why can’t I play?”

To avoid getting into trouble with my parents, my older brother Dylan finally let me play some Super Mario Kart with them. I was terrible, but Cory laughed at me crashing all over the place. It might have worked a little, but he didn’t really seem interested in me, he was more entertained by how terrible I was at the game.

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The week was almost ending and I had very little time to get Cory to like me, so I asked my older sisters Ashley and Sarah to help me, “How do I get a boy to like me?”

Both of them giggled, and Sarah said, “You like a boy? Who?”

“Cory, but he doesn’t even know I exist.” I replied.

Ashley reassured me, “Boys are dumb, they don’t know how to read those signs.”

“What can I do to get him to like me?” I asked.

Both of them whispered to one another, giggled, then Sarah said, “You just have to show him how much you like him and I’ve got just the secret tip to make it happen…” She paused.

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“What do I need to do?”

Sarah whispered into my ear her secret tip. I then said, “I don’t know if I can do that.”

Ashley chimed in, “Oh, but he’ll love it. I promise.”

So that night, when I got out of the shower, I found the perfect opportunity to do the secret tip Sarah and Ashley told me. Cory was all alone in the living room playing Super Mario, so now was my chance to get him alone. I waltzed into the living room wrapped in only a towel and stood right in front of the TV.

“Move! I can’t see.” Cory demanded.

I then opened my towel and flashed my naked body to Cory. His jaw dropped. He was speechless. He didn’t say anything. There was an awkward pause and I didn’t know what else to do because my sisters said once I flashed him he’d be begging to be with me, but nothing. I quickly covered myself back up and ran up to my sisters’ bedroom crying.

“It didn’t work!” I was so upset that me flashing Cory didn’t work, that I didn’t realize that I should have been angry about my sisters pranking me. Ashley and Sarah comforted me saying that everything’s going to be ok.

The next day, Cory and Sam’s parents came and picked them up. Since then, I saw Cory a few times, it was terrible every time. Cory would make fun of me for getting naked in front of him, and then I would run off mad that he was making fun of me. A couple years later, my family and I moved away and I haven’t seen Cory since.

Since Cory, I have learned that getting naked, although can get instant results, might also be better to wait for after a date or two. Oops!

Signing off.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

French Kiss?

Sex, although a very adult action, is something in the back of people’s mind from an early age. We might not be aware of it, but a child’s curiosity inevitably leads to questions about sex.

Why do boys have wieners?

Where do babies come from?

Mom, why do you have hair there?

These are all questions I have asked my parents when I was a young child and it didn’t stop there. My questions went beyond asking my parents, as did the questions my peers had.

Growing up, my family was close with our neighbors. When my parents needed it, my neighbors would watch my siblings and I, and when the neighbors needed their kids watched, my parents would do the same. Between two houses and a duplex, there was 16 kids. It was great, we always had a blast playing together.

One moment I remember in particular was when my older sister Ashley, my neighbor Luke who was around my age, Luke’s older sister Hannah, and myself were watching TV. There was a kissing scene and after the kiss, the guy went to his friends to brag about it by saying, “I kissed her! Not even just a kiss, but a french kiss.”

Being only five years old at the time, I had no clue what a french kiss was, so the curious child that I was, I asked Ashley, “What’s a french kiss?”

Ashley’s response, “It’s kissing, but with tongue.”

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The show continued. Luke and I were sitting on the floor waving our feet back and forth. His foot would hit mine, then I would hit his foot back. It was playful. Ashley and Hannah saw this and thought it was cute.

They chanted, “Luke and Kallie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…”

“Stop!” I yelled, annoyed that they were making fun of us.

Our sisters giggled and stopped chanting. Luke and I stopped waving our feet and even put space between us. We continued watching the rest of the show. Then our sisters left to go do whatever it is they were doing, leaving Luke and I alone in the living room.

After several minutes passed, Luke broke the silence and asked me,  “Do you want to kiss me?”

“No,” I exclaimed. “Do you want to kiss me?”

There was a pause. Luke then asked, “Do you want to try it?”

I hesitated, then one upped him, “Want to try a french kiss?”

He agreed, then after a bit of deliberating, we decided the right way to french kiss was to count to three then stick our tongues out and touch our tongues together.

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We simultaneously counted “One – Two – Three” and both of us stuck our tongues out and touched just the tips together. We both jumped back, scrunching our faces, completely grossed out by  our tongues touching one another. He spit from disgust, I grabbed my juice box and chugged it to wash out the taste of our french kiss.

Whether I knew it or not at the time, my curiosity about sex was blossoming at age five. I might not have been mature enough to know what sex is, but I wanted to know things. Sex is something I have always been intrigued by.

Until next time…

 

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus