Intimacy, Sex, and Freedom

I’m about a week late on this. A year and some odd days ago, I started The Boys I Encounter. First and foremost, thank you to all of my followers. You have liked and commented and supported my blog, and I am grateful you have been there every step and through my ups and downs. I know that sometimes I go weeks without posting and sometimes I post every day for several days straight. Very inconsistent, but that’s life.

A little over a year ago, I opened my blog with my Introduction and quick follow up to declare I’m Taking a Break from Boys. What sparked this urge to write a one year post was actually a boy I was just beginning to forget. This boy is Sexy Six Pack Boy, he re-added me on snapchat today and I realized it has been just over a year since I spoke to him and that he was the pivotal point in pushing me to my boy break and thus the starting point of The Boys I Encounter.

When I saw his name flash on my screen notifying that he added me as a friend, my heart skipped a beat. I knew from the start when I met him that he wasn’t Mr. Right, but Sexy Six Pack Boy, although this masculine sexual being that I met on Tinder, he was actually genuinely sweet. I am generally good at hiding my emotions and not opening up especially when I know there is no potential for more, but he broke me down, and I began to like him.

Maybe eventually I will write in detail that story, but for now, I will leave you wondering what actually happened. How long did we date? What was it about him that wasn’t perfect? Why did my emotional wall break for him? Why did it end?

Right now, although I liked him back then, if he snapped me or texted me, I don’t think I would go back to him. He already fucked that up and it’s too late. He pushed me into my break from boys and got me writing. So for that, I want to thank Sexy Six Pack Boy. Thank you for getting me expressing my views on sex and life and dating. Thank you for making me realize that it is ok to be completely single sometimes. Thank you for helping me break my emotional wall even if that made me vulnerable. Thank you for making me vulnerable and in turn, I am now stronger. Thank you for teaching me what I really want isn’t you and I shouldn’t settle for something that isn’t right for me. And thank you for adding me back on snapchat a year later so I can be strong enough to turn you down.

I don’t need any boys in my life, for the boys I choose to keep around, keep that in mind. You are a part of my life because I want you there. Even if we just met, even if we are just casual, even if we’re just fucking, even if we’re just talking and have yet to fuck… you are someone I want. You have something I desire. You are someone I like.

Once again, I don’t need any boys in my life, for the boys I decide not to see anymore, keep that in mind. If you hurt me, if I don’t want to see you, if we grow apart, if I tell you to fuck off… please leave me alone. I no longer want you. I no longer desire you. I no longer like you.

Through writing The Boys I Encounter for the past year, I have been able to use my blog as a point of reflection, a way to learn more about myself. I know I am not perfect. I know I go through phases of fucking and taking breaks and phases of writing and not writing. I know I open and close and reopen dating apps. I know what I want with sex and what I don’t want. I know I sometimes get in crazy situations, but I also know I can always walk away and have walked away even mid-fuck. I know that I love sex.

The biggest revelation I have found (maybe not associated with my writing, but still important) is that I am leaning more and more toward non-monogamy or polyamory. I don’t think I can be with one person for the rest of my life without the freedom to fuck whoever I please. I am realizing that I crave sex with various people. I am realizing I am good at understanding the difference between sex and intimacy and am capable of separating the two. I am realizing I want intimacy with someone who I can be this open sexual being with. I want someone who can accept me and my sexual needs. I want someone who doesn’t want me to change.

I want intimacy, sex, and freedom. I want to be unapologetically me.

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A snap from me to you, my loyal readers. Thanks. 😉

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Failing my Break From Boys

So sorry about being absent. The past week has been crazy busy at work, making art, and just life things. I will finish telling you about Capture the Flag Boy, but will need a little more time before divulging you in all those details.

However, I am officially failing at my break from boys (see I’m Taking a Break from Boys). I was probably always failing. I don’t know if I could ever truly give up, or at least go cold turkey from boys. But I have at least slowed my boy habits a bit.

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There are two new developments. This weekend, I met two boys, both musicians. Very dangerous. I curated an exhibition that opened on Friday, there is a venue attached to the gallery so there was also several bands playing that evening. My friends and I were hanging out in the gallery. I saw Boy #1 several feet away. He was tall, skinny, olive skin, dark shaggy hair with some blond accents, dark eyes, and an eclectic fashion sense. We made eye contact, he ruined it by leaning back directly onto a painting. “Dude! Watch out for the painting!” I yelled towards him.

“Fuck! Sorry.” He then walked over and introduced himself. His friend, Brian, joined him. We were all talking, his friend was quiet, but Boy #1, Peter, was funny. We hit it off pretty quick. We only got a few minutes of flirting in because they were being summoned to the stage to perform.

After they played their set, Peter and I made flirty eye contact several times, but we were both preoccupied by everything else. I had gallery people to entertain, he had music people to entertain. At the end of the night, I was talking to two artists about curating them into an exhibition. Peter patiently stood there, and when there was a pause, he interrupted to say good night. It was difficult to pause the conversation for long, so I said bye and he left.

The next day, I got a friend request on Facebook… but it was from Brian, not Peter. I then on a whim decided to add Peter. Several hours later, I got a ping from messenger. I was excited, hoping it was Peter, but no, it was Brian saying that it was great meeting me. I was cordial, but kept the conversation short. I’m still a bit bummed that Peter didn’t message me, but who knows, maybe he still will.

I met Boy #2 on Saturday night. My roommates’ band was performing. I arrived late, but during the band that played right before their set. It was packed. I squeezed my way in and found my friends. As we talked, I saw Boy #2 towards the back of the room. He was the tallest person in the room, dark, slightly athletic build, and quietly hot. He’s the type of hot where he is definitely attractive, but he isn’t over confident or cocky so he is almost more of a mystery. We made eye contact a few times as I spoke with my friends, but there was no way either of us would be able to make our way to one another in that crowd. Once that band ended, my roommates went up to set up and the room cleared a little in between sets. I went to front row center by the stage. My friends and I danced to the soul music playing in the background. Boy #2 made his way up as well, but stayed to the side of the stage.

My roommates started to play and the room flooded with people again. As they played, the dancing changed to a more rock mosh. Not quite dancing, not quite moshing, but definitely movement. Boy #2 leaned against the wall. I was still front center pushing and dancing along. As the set progressed, the pushing got heavier. To get out of it, I made my way to the side, now standing, but still kind of dancing on the side basically right next to Boy #2. Once the band ended, the room cleared pretty fast and I went straight up to my roommates and hugged them as I usually do. Boy #2 stood there for a minute, but I was occupied talking with my roommates. He walked outside to the back patio.

A few minutes later, my friend wanted to smoke, so I went out with her, walking ahead of her. As we got outside, the door shut behind me, I turned, opened the door, and she wasn’t there anymore. Boy #2 was right there though on the patio, and laughed, telling me she ditched me. We then got talking. Chase introduced himself, he told me he was a musician, then told me to like his band’s page on Facebook. I pulled it up, liked it, he then stole my phone and messaged the band through my account. He then messaged me back from his phone. We chatted a little longer, but my roommates were almost packed up and ready to go. We said our good byes and went our separate ways.

That night, we continued to message each other through his band page, then I eventually gave him my number. He invited me to a show his band is playing this Thursday, so of course I said yes. We are texting now as I write this.

Fuck! I definitely failed at giving up boys. But hey, I tried.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Tampa Boy Encounter #3

I met Tamp Boy (Ryan from Red Flags Equal Fun) Sunday April 24th and hung out with him a total of four times before I wrote him off Tuesday May 3rd. The first time, I realized how many red flags there were going in, but still had my fun. Then encounters two through four were a downward spiral, but I guess that is expected when there are so many red flags. This is part two of a three part post for Tampa Boy Encounters #2-4.

Tampa Boy Encounter #3

The day after my second encounter with him, I texted in the afternoon to be flirty; I told him he got me too high and right after he hung up I took my vibrator out. I was still horny from not getting laid the night before. He responded several hours later around 6:30pm to tell me I’m cute high and that it turns him on that I masturbated right after I got off the phone with him. I responded not long after, but then it took Tampa until around 11:30pm to text me back. Red flag. I was exhausted and had to work early the next morning, he missed his window. He tried to get me to come to his hotel. I told him no, it was too late and had to be up early. After texting back and forth for about an hour, I told him goodnight and told him that I was bartending for a concert the next day and that he should come. He didn’t respond, but that was ok with me.

The concert started at 9pm. Tampa still hasn’t responded, but this worked in my favor. A guy I had a huge crush on in college showed up and sat at the bar. Excited to see him, I gave him a hug. Once we got talking, the conversation didn’t stop the entire 3 hour show (surprisingly not a lot of people were drinking that night, mostly just there for the music). A friend of mine even did some sneaky detective work and found out that he is recently single. I met Landon, College Crush Boy, my freshman year. I was instantly drawn to him, but I had a longterm boyfriend at the time so nothing ever came of it while I was in school. After I broke up with my boyfriend a few years later, I ran into Landon several times at various parties and events, but he had a girlfriend. Now we are both single, but I am supposed to be on an emotional break from boys. We will see if I can refrain, but I don’t know if I want to.

When the show ended, Landon got ready to leave, but lingered and told me to come give him a hug. When I hugged him, he pulled me in, the hug was long, I pulled away, then he pulled me back one last time, hugged again for a brief moment before he let go.  He then put his hand on my arm, squeezed it gently, and told me to keep him posted for future shows. My crush on Landon has been lit yet again. I will let you know if anything happens.

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Shortly after Landon left, my guy friend Shane (introduced in Call Me!) texted to see what I was up to. I told him I just finished bartending for a show, but was still hanging out for a few drinks if he wanted to join. He slacked on responding. About an hour later I still haven’t heard from him.

My phone vibrated, excited, hoping it was Shane, I was caught off guard to see that it was Tampa Boy. I ignored it. I told myself I would give it another 15 minutes before responding in case Shane finally texts. Only after like 5 minutes of waiting, Tampa calls. I answered reluctantly. He asked what I was up to and said he wanted to see me. I agreed and he said he would be at the bar in 20 minutes.

Shortly after Tampa called, Shane responded to the text. He was just finishing work and he texted to tell me about his night. We corresponded briefly, then at one point I texted “Fuck you!” and he responded with, “Sure, why not?” Shane and I haven’t slept together in several months, the last time we actually hung out a couple months ago it was platonic, and since then, we haven’t actually hung out, but we text almost every other day. OF ALL THE NIGHTS HE WANTS TO HANG OUT I ALREADY HAVE A GUY COMING OVER! A huge what the fuck moment. I told him I was tired and was about to head home to end the conversation. Fuck! That sucked ass.

Now that I blew off Shane, I was still waiting on Tampa. It’s been over an hour from when he said 20 minutes and he still wasn’t there. Red flag. I texted and told him because the bar is only a block from my place, to just meet me at my apartment. He said he was just about to pull up, so I met him out front and we walked the block home.

Total deja vu. As we walked in, we went straight to my bar, I made us each whiskey cokes, and he packed a bowl. He went straight into talking about himself, and I just zoned him out, thinking about ripping his clothes off. He moved us to the couch. Made his typical advance. We made out for a bit. He asked about going to my room. I laughed. This time I explained, “My room, although messy, isn’t terrible. The problem is that I live in a space that has paper thin walls and 8 roommates. I’m fine with fucking in my room, but I avoid it. What about your hotel?”

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He then explained his assistant was at the hotel room, this time no son though. He said that she was only in town for a couple nights of the few weeks he was in town, so instead of getting a second room, he got a double queen room for the entire duration of his stay. He then tried to say, “We could go to the hotel. She’s probably sleeping. I can sneak you in. If she wakes up, she would probably be turned on.” HUGE red flag.

I wasn’t having that. I told him fuck no, then agreed to let him in my room. We got up from the couch and went to my room. As we both stripped, I thought he was joking when he said, “Well, because your walls are paper thin I will just have to make love to you as if you were my wife.” Another HUGE red flag.

“What?!”I asked.

He laughed, then said, “Never mind.”

We started to make out. He kissed his was down my body and down between my thighs. The way he worked his tongue on my clit reminded me of why I put up with every red flag he has thrown my way. Eating away, he licked for several minutes, getting me worked up, but didn’t let me cum. He licked his way back up my body and proceeded to kiss me. Then he rolled over and laid there, dick out, looking at me then at his dick as if he expected to be blown. I went ahead and blew him. He enjoyed every bit of it, then told me to stop so he could fuck me.

He got up and grabbed a condom from his jeans, he put it on then got on top, missionary, and slowly entered, kissing me gently. I’m not opposed to soft, “love-making,” type of sex, but in this instance, it was a huge turn off. I couldn’t help but to think about the wife comment he made a few minutes earlier. I pushed him up, and rolled him over to fuck him the way I wanted to fuck. He grabbed me, wrapping his arms around me to slow us down. This struggle of him wanting sensual slow sex and me wanting to be fucked rough was not working. I finally gave in and let him get back on top. He came. I didn’t.

We laid there for a moment, a bit of kissing, then just cuddled in silence for several minutes. He broke it by asking if I would miss him when he went back to Tampa. I didn’t say anything, just chuckled. It was now 6am, he realized the time and then said he should probably not fall asleep because he has to check out of his hotel at noon and still needs to pack. He asked for a ride, but I was too tired. He caught a Lyft instead. I passed out and was kind of relieved that he was headed back to Tampa that day.

Fuck! These red flags were supposed to be fun for a night, not draining for a week.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Tampa Boy Encounter #2

I met Tamp Boy (Ryan from Red Flags Equal Fun) Sunday April 24th and hung out with him a total of four times before I wrote him off Tuesday May 3rd. The first time, I realized how many red flags there were going in, but still had my fun. Then encounters two through four were a downward spiral, but I guess that is expected when there are so many red flags. This is part one of a three part post for Tampa Boy Encounters #2-4.

Tampa Boy Encounter #2

I never expected to see him again, but two days after my first encounter with Tampa Boy, he texted to tell me he had more fun than expected and that he wanted to see me again. The texts were light, flirty, and a little dirty. He kept telling me how much it turned him on to tie me up and he wanted more. He was basically begging me to come to his hotel that night, but alas, I am a busy girl and wasn’t about to drop what I was doing for a boy. That was Tuesday, I told him I could hang out with him Thursday when I get out of work around 10pm.

Thursday came around and he texted me to make sure we were still on. I replied with a simple yes. I was busy at work and really couldn’t be bothered. When I got out, I tried to call him to tell him I was leaving work and to see where he wanted to meet up. He didn’t answer. I texted to tell him I was running home to eat before we could hang out. About 40 minutes later, he calls to ask me where I was at and why I didn’t just go to his hotel. I told him I had no clue he wanted me to go to his hotel because we never agreed on that. After some of this banter, he said he was going to come over to my place and would be there in 30 minutes.

Tampa arrived. We went straight to my bar, and I made us each a whiskey coke as he packed a bowl. As I was making our drinks, he plugged his phone in to charge and plugged in the aux cord to my speakers. He explained that the reason it took him so long to call me back was because he had left his phone at his baby mama’s place and he had to go get it. Red flag. He continued to say that his phone was blowing up with texts and emails he had to respond to, so he typed away on his phone while I drank my whiskey coke and listened to whatever EDM bullshit he put on. Red flag.

I was basically done with my drink when he finally finished responding to everyone he had to so urgently text back. Red flag. He then sat by me and took a hit. He asked how I’ve been, I started to respond, but hardly got several words out before he started to talk about himself. His ego and cockiness always seem to take control. Red flag.

He then insisted we moved from the bar stools to the couch to be more comfortable, which is obviously code for I want to make a move on you. We sat on the couch, he continued to talk only about himself, I hardly spoke. He never asked me anything and whenever I would respond, he wouldn’t let me really talk much. Red flag.

Once he got over talking about himself, he turned the conversation all into complimenting me, but mostly my appearance and my body. Red flag.  He then made his move, turned towards me, put his arm around me, pulled me in for a kiss. Fuck! I forgot how good of a kisser he was. All that bullshit and red flags ignored once again. We started making out, he then pulled me closer and I straddled him. The make-out session got more and more intense. He started to kiss my neck and moved his hands up my thighs, grabbing my ass, then moved one hand up to my tits. As hot as it was, I stopped him, “I have roommates that can walk in at any moment.”

“So” he said as he continued to kiss me.

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Moments after that, one of my roommates walked in and was startled, “Oh my god!” He scoffed, then turned around and walked as quickly away in the other direction as possible. I got off Tampa and chased after Henry and told him to chill, nothing was going on, we were just making out. He said he was fine, just caught off guard. I felt bad though because he had just moved in like a month ago.

Once I reassured Henry, I went back to Tampa. He then insisted we moved to my bedroom. I laughed and said he couldn’t go into my bedroom because it was currently a disaster. He then explained we couldn’t go back to his hotel because his assistant was there watching his son. Red flag.

“You’re in town for business, you only see your son when you are in town, go be with your son.” I told him.

“He’s sleeping though,” Ryan said.

I kissed him one last time and told him to leave. He left and not even 15 minutes later called me to ask what I was doing. I told him I was in bed. He asked if I was using my vibrator and thinking about him. I laughed and told him no. I was nodding off, he kept talking. After several minutes of him talking at me as I spaced out from being high, he finally said goodnight and that he would text me tomorrow.

He planted the seed. I grabbed my vibrator but did not think about him once.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

 

Doodling and Stalking

Doodling your crushes name a million times is the childhood equivalent to facebook/social media stalking your crush. Think back to when you were a kid. I remember being in elementary school when I would write my crushes’ names with hearts and writing in my diary about them all the time. It was obsessive. What drives us to do this?

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His name was Jeremy. I’ve known him since preschool. Suddenly, in 2nd grade, he was the only thing I could think about. My best friend Kelsey had also developed a crush on Jacob. We both thought it was serendipitous that our initials for our crushes and us matched so we both wrote just the first initials “K+J” in all our notes and hearts to be more secretive.

When I would spend the night at Kelsey’s, there were many hours spent just talking about Jeremy and Jacob while simultaneously doodling away “K+J 4Ever,””Mr. & Mrs. K + J,”etc. We would then stash these doodles and notes in a box that was put under her bed.

At Kelsey’s birthday party, all of the 2nd grade was invited to her place. There was a bouncy house, games to play, and a coloring table with both coloring books and scrap paper. Well I guess some of our doodles didn’t make it into the box because somehow a few of them ended up in the pile of scrap paper. This boy named Brandon found it, and because it was at Kelsey’s place, he announced that Kelsey has a crush on someone with the letter J.

I was relieved that he didn’t assume it was me, but Kelsey was mortified. We were still at the age where boys and girls thought it was gross if someone liked you, but at the same time we were all starting to slowly develop crushes.

I lived in a small town, so there were only about 30 kids in our grade. Surprisingly, though, there were four guys who had names that started with J. Jeremy, Jacob, James, and Joey. Although it was mortifying for Kelsey at the moment, nothing really came from it after that day. No one pried enough to figure out who she had a crush on and life went on.

Looking back at it though, if we were older, would the boys cared more to figure it out? Would it have worked in our advantage for our crushes to find out we liked them? At what point do you reveal to your crush that you like them?

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I’m 27 now. Having a crush seems like a weird past time, but in reality, I get crushes all the time. I realize I have a crush (as in I like someone but nothing sexual/romantic has happened yet) on someone or that I actually have emotional feelings for someone I’m sleeping with when I start to pay attention to their Facebook. Not just in my news feed, but I will look them up and look at their photos and posts. The more I do this, the bigger the crush. I’ve recently wrote off boys emotionally, so suddenly, my social media use has dropped significantly. I’m not constantly checking my crushes’ statuses and recent photos. It is kind of a relief to stop thinking so much about boys.

However, during my break from boys, I’ve started to wonder if people should just be straight forward and let someone know that they like them. The worst that could happen is that they tell you they don’t have feelings back. On the flip side, they might feel the same way. I would save so much time and energy if I just asked out my crushes instead of waiting for them to possibly come to me. But then again, is that too forward? Why is it that women are to sit back and wait for the guys to chase them? Maybe once I’m done with my break, I will try to be more honest and forward instead of sitting back waiting for my crushes to chase me.

Just something I’ve been thinking about during this break.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Red Flags Equal Fun

Brace yourself, this is a long post, but there are juicy details, I promise. 😉

It has been almost a month since I declared my boy break and I was doing so good… that is until a couple days ago.

I was bartending Sunday afternoon. Usual touristy downtown Chicago wealthy crowd. A tall, tan, blonde, muscular guy walks in wearing a tight gray t-shirt, a rolex, and some nice shades. He sits at the opposite end of the bar from me, so my coworker took his order. As he takes off his shades, he looks right at me and we made eye contact for several seconds. His piercing blue eyes and his kind smile are what drew me to him.

He stayed put on that side of the bar, I could have gone over to check on him, but I decided not to. It was almost 3:30pm, my shift was about to end, I was closing up tabs, I had plans at 5:00pm, I had no time to chit-chat. I wrapped up and as I left, gave him one more look as I walked past him.

When I got out of the bar, I stopped right out front for a minute to find my car key. While I was searching my purse he walked out. As I heard the door behind me, I knew it was him. I didn’t turn around, I found my key, then paused. He then said, “Hey, I’m Ryan.”

“I’m Kallie.” I responded as I turned around.

“Do you know where there’s an open head shop near by? I have all this bud but nothing to smoke it out of.” Ryan asked.

I laughed, “You’re in the wrong part of the city to buy a piece.”

“Where do I need to go?”

“There’s like five head shops all in a row on Clark and Belmont. It’s on my way home, I could drop you off if you’d like.”

He agreed and thanked me for the generous offer. I didn’t know anything about him, but there was something about him that lured me in and I wanted to figure it out. During the 15 minute ride to Lakeview, we did the usual introductions; I found out he’s from Tampa, he’s in Chicago for business but has been here almost all month and is probably going to be here frequently moving forward, he is 33 years old, he is an entrepreneur and is starting a new business venture. Although he was nice, funny, tall and had the muscular build I usually fall for, he was cocky and very much into himself. The majority of our discussion lead back to how much money he makes and he even brought up all the women that fall for him.

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Aside from his overall friendliness, everything about our conversation were big red flags, but I liked that. As we were talking, I was thinking about ripping his clothes off, but I could tell that there is no way he could be more than a good lay.

Right before we got to the head shop, he realized his friend lived near by so he asked if I could give him a ride. I agreed. We went in, he purchased a piece then we left. When I took him to his friend’s place, he asked if I wanted to come in to smoke a bowl and chill for a bit. I explained I couldn’t because I have dinner plans with friends at 5pm. He asked for my number so we can hang out later, I hesitated because of all the red flags. He then persisted, “I think you’re cool, you should show me around the city when you’re free.” I then agreed and put my number in his phone.

I drove home and went to get ready to go to my friend’s for dinner. It wasn’t even 30 minutes after I left Ryan and he called me asking when I could come hang out with him at his hotel. I told him I couldn’t that evening because I had plans. He said I could bring my friends, but no way in hell that was going to happen. I laughed and explained that my friends wouldn’t want to do that. He then tried to invite himself to hang out with me and my friends. I told him I wouldn’t let that happen because what if he turns out to be a huge douche; my friend’s would hate me for inviting him. He laughed then said he would call me in a few hours to come over to my friend’s when he was done with his meeting.

While I was at my friend’s place, he texted at around 8:30, I ignored his texts until 10pm when I was headed out. I texted and told him I was about to leave, but I had to give a friend a ride home. He told me he wasn’t in a hurry and had all night. He gave me an address and told me to come pick him up so we could finally smoke. I agreed.

I picked him up from a house on the south side and when I arrived, I asked what he wanted to do. He told me to show him the city, but first we need to go somewhere and smoke a bowl. So I wasn’t smoking and drinking and driving, I told him I had to go to my apartment and park my car. On our way there, we stopped at his hotel so he could drop off his bag. When we arrived to his hotel, he warned me that he has a three-year-old son that wasn’t at the hotel at the moment, but there are toys around. Another red flag. We went up and he changed quickly. We then went to my place, parked my car, climbed up the three flights of stairs, and he packed a bowl as I made us each a whiskey coke. I took him up to my roof to show him the view. He tried putting his arm around me, I turned and rejected his advance. It was too early in the night and I was still contemplating what I felt about the situation.

After we finished our drinks, he ordered a Lyft and I took him to Wicker Park so we could do some bar hopping. It was a Sunday night, so not much going on, but we still made our rounds. At the last bar we stopped at, he stayed out front to smoke a cigarette and he made friends with a guy that goes by Tank. They got talking. I went in, ordered a drink, and hung out with some people I knew.

About 30 minutes went by and he still didn’t come in, so I went back out. Ryan then asked if I wanted to get out of here, I agreed. He called a Lyft and Ryan, Tank, and I got in the car. The plan was to go to Tank’s place to grab something before we went to Ryan’s hotel to smoke and chill some more. On our way to Tank’s, we drove past an adult book store. Ryan put his hand on my leg, leaned over and whispered to me pointing at the store. I laughed, but thought nothing of it.

Once we left Tank’s, all three of us went to Ryan’s hotel and poured ourselves some drinks and smoked another bowl. Ryan took some adderall and offered some to Tank and I. Tank took one and I declined. Another red flag.

The boys wanted to roll a blunt, so we left the hotel after hardly being there and walked over to 711. Tank kept trying to put his arm around me and tried getting in my face because I wasn’t talking to him. He was obviously fucked up and I could hardly understand a word coming out of his mouth. The boys agreed that we should smoke the blunt at Tank’s, but Ryan had to stop by his hotel to grab his weed. The boys couldn’t stick to one place, it was starting to get annoying, but I played along. When we walked back to Ryan’s hotel, Tank stayed downstairs to smoke a cigarette. Ryan and I went up laughing about how fucked up Tank was. When we got up to his hotel room, he shuffled around looking for his bud as I sat on his bed and watched. He then sat next to me and said that Tank could wait. He leaned in and kissed me. After making out for a couple minutes, I stopped him and said we should probably tell Tank to leave. He tried to call Tank, but it went to voicemail. We went downstairs to see if he was there, but he wasn’t. Ryan then asked, “Do you want to go check out that adult book store?”

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I agreed. All of these red flags, it was 4am, and I still agreed. This night so far has been an adventure and I didn’t want it to end quite yet, especially now that he wants to have fun with toys. The draw to fuck him has increased exponentially. He called a Lyft and we went to the adult book store. He told me to pick out whatever I’d like and he’d buy it. I grabbed nipple clamps, a rope, and a vibrator. He grabbed a vibrating cock ring and some sort of herbal sex pills. He ordered a Lyft to his hotel. On the way back, he grabbed my hand and put it on his cock. I caressed his crotch and rubbed him gently, teasing him the whole ride.

As soon as we got back to his hotel room, he went in to kiss me. It started off slow. A nice ease into what was to come. He took off his shirt, I then straddled him and we continued to make out as he unclipped my bra. Now topless on top of him, he started to kiss my neck and worked his way to my nipples. He then flipped me over, he sat on my hips, keeping me put while he grabbed the rope from the nightstand. He held both my wrists above my head and started to wrap the rope around them, and tied the rope to the bed frame. As he tied me, I kissed his chest, he told me to stop so he could focus on me.

His natural dominance had me soaking wet. Now that I was restrained, he had absolute control. He kissed me briefly, then pulled back, slowly working his way from my lips, to my neck, down my stomach, then teased me by running his tongue across the top of my jeans and rubbing his hand along the inside of my thighs. I thrusted my hips, squirming from the anticipation. He grabbed the nipple clamps and circled my nipples with them. My whole body now craving more, I tried to lift my head up to kiss him, but he pushed me back down, then finally pinched my nipples tight with the clamps. The quick sting of pain was followed by a burst of ecstasy. He then ran his tongue down my stomach, pulled my jeans off, leaving me in just my red lace panties.

Spreading my legs and holding them to restrain me more, he gently licked along the edges of the lace. He slid his tongue up and down each side multiple times, then with his teeth, he lifted my panties to one side of my soaking wet pussy. He continued to tease me, licking  closer and closer to my inner labia without quite doing so. As the tension continued to build, I kept trying to push my hips up to get him to finally eat me. He kept pushing my hips down.

It wasn’t until I stopped my squirming that he finally went in for his first taste, taking a mouthful of my inner labia, then he ran his tongue between my lower lips, up and down, barely touching my clit every time he licked upward. I tried to move my hips down so my clit would finally get the attention of his tongue, but he lifted his head away from my vagina and looked up at me. No words were said, but I could tell he was demanding me to stay still so he could get back to work. I took his demand and relaxed my hips. He then went back to business, licking up and down, up and down, then he ran his tongue up above my clit, bumping the top ball of my clitoral hood piercing, driving my clit crazy.

He paused, sat up and reached for the vibrator. I was already worked up and he just kept the ultimate tease going. He turned the vibrator on, running it along my clamped nipples, then buried his face back down under, and started to circle my clit with his tongue. My entire body pulsing with sensation, I succumbed to everything he was doing.

He ran the vibrator down from my nipples, and towards my clit working his tongue down to my vagina simultaneously. He kept a good pace, switching from using the vibrator on my clit and in my vagina while licking me simultaneously. After several times of changing it up, my breathing got heavy, my body tensed up, I let out a quiet, “oh my god” as my vagina started to contract, my hips pushed up into his face for a good 15 seconds of pure bliss. As I came down from the orgasm, he pulled his face away, a long string of fluids dripped from his face down to my vagina.

As he unclamped my nipples, he asked, “How was that?”

I smiled and said, “That was fucking amazing. I rarely cum the first time I’m with a guy and you somehow figured out all my hot spots.”

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He kept me tied, then stuck his throbbing hard cock in my mouth and he proceeded to eat me out. I took him in deep, in and out of my mouth, running my tongue over the tip of his cock. As he continued to tickle my clit, every lick made me jolt; I was still extremely sensitive from my orgasm. He then pulled his cock out of my mouth, repositioning himself so we were face to face. He kissed me and thrusted his cock inside my soaking vagina. Every thrust he would pull back and pause with just the tip in me. I would try to push my hips up and wrap my legs around him so I would pull him deep inside of me. He kept pushing me down so he could continue to tease me with just the tip of his dick. After a couple minutes of this, he untied me. I was free to do whatever I’d like. I wrapped my arms around him, moving my hips in a circular motion as he thrusted. He flipped us over. Now on top, I was in charge.

I returned the tease favor, by slowing down, pulling him out, running my fingers along his cock and kissing him, then worked my way down slowly, biting his nipples gently. He rubbed my back with almost a downward motion, trying to get me closer to his penis. I slowly licked down the center of his abs to the base of his cock, flicked the tip with my tongue, but then neglected it and licked along his pelvis towards the base of his shaft, but never quite licking his dick. He tried to grab my hair to control me, to push my head to his dick, I pushed his hands down to his side.

Once he stopped trying to fight me, I ran my tongue from his hips and then lightly tickled his balls with my tongue and slightly took them into my mouth. I then ran my tongue up his shaft and to finally take his dick in my mouth, just the tip to start. Sucking lightly, I licked the rim of his head, running my tongue around it slowly. I looked up at him, I could tell he wanted me to take him all the way in. I paused on his tip while we made several seconds of intense eye contact. To break this, he pushed his hips up and I proceeded to move my mouth down his shaft, then added my hand in a twisting motion up and down as I blew him, cradling his balls. Up and down, taking him in a little more every time. Finally, I let his dick slide all the way in my mouth, deep throating him, and I held it while running my tongue along the under side of his dick.

“Don’t make me cum yet!” He said as he stopped me from blowing him. “I still have to fuck you silly.”

He then grabbed the vibrating cock ring and demanded I get on my hands and knees. He stuck his dick in my pussy, I pushed my hips against him, the vibrator tickled my clit with every thrust inward. He kept trying to slow down to prevent himself from cumming, but I insisted he didn’t stop. He then began to thrust harder and harder, until he came.

As he took off the condom, he stated, “Damn! I haven’t fucked like that in years.”

I smiled and kissed him. His phone alarm went off, he looked at the clock and realized it was 8am. We have been going at it for over three hours and he was supposed to be waking up for work at that very moment. He turned it off and we passed out until noon.

When we woke up, he showered and got ready as I just laid there. Once he was out of the shower, we both got dressed. I kissed him and said my goodbye. He then said, “I’ll see you around.”

I laughed and said, “I’m not counting on it. You live in Tampa.”

He said, “We’ll figure it out.”

I laughed again and walked out. I will probably never hear from him again, and that’s ok with me. I wasn’t looking for a relationship to form. All those red flags were just green flags to have a single night of fun with a guy I wasn’t ever planning on seeing again.

My take away, a night of casual fun, no strings attached, is now allowed during this break. The break from boys is more of an emotional break than anything else. I still crave sex. I just need to eliminate the time wasted on guys when I get attached emotionally. Tampa boy was a perfect slip up from this break.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

EDIT::: I wrote this last night and didn’t post it because I needed to edit it still, but he texted me today wanting to see me again. All the red flags are still there, and he is still not my type based on his ego, but the sex was fucking awesome. We will see what happens.

Call Me!

I bartend part time, so I have had a great deal of guys hitting on me at work. Last night was surprisingly slow for a Friday, but probably because it was snowing crazy out. A woman walked in and bee lined straight to the end of the bar, away from everyone else. She was relieved to I was serving her because as she put it, “I’m so glad you’re a woman! The last thing I need right now is to deal with another guy today. Guys can be total creeps!”

I agreed with her saying “I’m sorry you’ve had a shitty day. Guys can totally suck, which is probably why I am taking a break from boys.”

We continued to chat about all the guys we’ve had to deal with. She’s a massage therapist so we both have had our share of creepers. She was telling me all about the guys that try to make a move on her while she’s massaging them and the guys that ask for her number. She said she even had to put a restraining order on a guy because he followed her after work to a bar then all the way home. As I was closing the bar up for the night, I closed out her tab, then she lingered for a moment. Usually that’s the point when the customer says thanks and leaves. She didn’t.

She asked, “Would you wanna come over to my place for drinks?”

I hesitated not knowing how to break it to her, “Ummmm…”

She added, “It’s been really great talking to you and I would love to get to know you.”

“I really can’t. I have to finish closing, then get home myself. It’s late and…”

Before I could finish telling her I wasn’t interested in women, she interrupted, “I hope you change your mind, I would totally make it worth your while. Call me!” She then slipped me a bar napkin with her number on it and walked out.

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I couldn’t help but laugh about it. I threw out the napkin and didn’t follow up with her. Not that I wasn’t curious, but she was pretty drunk at that point, I doubt it would have been any good even if I did go over to her place. When you take a break from boys, somehow that translates to I’m now into women? Maybe I should have called her.

This incident led to something unexpected. A little backstory; there’s a guy named Shane that I used to date about a year and a half ago. We stayed in touch after we stopped seeing each other but it was minimal, that is, until we both started bartending. I became a bartender last May, then he got a bartending job in August. Now that we are both in the same industry, we have more in common than we did when we were dating, so we text pretty regularly now, mostly about the people we meet.

It has been a running competition for us to text when we get phone numbers. I have been killing it, but Shane hasn’t been doing too bad himself. When I got home last night, I texted him about the chick at the bar and added sarcastically at the end of the text, “Now that I’m taking a break from boys, women are flocking to me!”

We texted back and forth for a few responses, then he texted, “Can I call you?”

I replied, “Yes.”

Shane called, opening the conversation with, “Tell me more about this chick at the bar!”

I proceeded to tell him the entire story. We laughed and continued to talk for almost two hours. Even when we dated, we NEVER talked on the phone for that long. In fact, the only time we ever spoke on the phone was to call to see where the other person was when we were about to hang out. Why did he want to call me now? Is it because of the incident with the chick? Perhaps it was turning him on to imagine me with another woman. Or is it because I said I’m taking a break from boys? Maybe this posed as a missed chance with me or maybe me taking a break raises the bar for a challenge. I guess I will see if this continues…

This break has been interesting so far.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus