The Australian

As I drove home from Virginia with my brother, I texted back and forth with The Australian. He was cocky yet sweet in his delivery of every word he texted. I like the fine line of flirty banter and sarcastic undertone. We were planning our first date. He suggested skating at the ice ribbon downtown Chicago where we had bets on if he would fall or not because he’s Australian and has very little winter experience. Winner of the bet gets a kiss from the loser.

As I got closer and closer to Chicago, he insisted I come and cuddle with him in his bed at 5am (my ETA). I declined. I needed real sleep in my own bed and I knew that he and I wouldn’t be sleeping much, plus I couldn’t climb into bed with a guy I’ve never met before. I resisted and told him I’d be free by 6pm.

We made plans to check out the ice ribbon downtown, the Australian invited two of his roommates and one of his roommate’s date. The four of them picked me up around 6:30 and we made our way to the ice ribbon. Well, once we got there, they were no longer renting skates, plus there was a wait so the game plan changed.

The Australian invited me back to his place to watch a movie. Usually I wouldn’t go to a guy’s place without a full date first, but he was sweet, we’ve already talked for hours on end the past several days, plus in the 45 minutes of driving and walking around the park we seemed to vibe well. I accepted the invitation and we made our way back to his place, but first stopped at mine so he and I could get in my car so the other three could go to their other plans.

Once back at his place, we settled in his room, put on a movie and chatted throughout, laughing, and having a really good time. He and I meshed well quick. It felt natural laying in his bed with him, his arm around me, cuddling and holding me. It wasn’t until the very end of the movie that he tried to kiss me. It was sensual and sweet. As the credits to the movie ended and the room grew silent, I told him to put something else on.

During our texting banter earlier in the week, I made a joke about how I base my life off One Tree Hill and Dawson’s Creek, two show’s I’ve only seen a few episode of each. He instantly jumped at that and told me he loves One Tree Hill. I told him I was only joking, but he was absolutely serious. In this moment of silence after the movie when I told him to put something else on, his brilliant idea was to put on One Tree Hill, try to get me hooked before he left for Australia.

Hardly past the intro credits, we were back to kissing and the show became just background noise. As the kissing progressed and became more heated, I had to stop him and tell him I couldn’t fuck him or get eaten at the moment, I just got my Vertical Clitoral Hood pierced last week and it was still healing.

I could have fucked him… but I put that restraint up because as much as I wanted to, I also just feel more comfortable letting my piercings heal and avoid sex especially with a new partner during that time. He shook his head and told me he will just have to tease me all night then. A full night of endless foreplay. It was super hot. It was almost like reliving high school, the period where you’re still a virgin and making out and rubbing all over each other’s bodies got you beyond sexually charged. That’s the kind of extended foreplay most guys lack and The Australian was all for it, even without any sex in the end.

A few more hours passed of hanging out and talking and making out and laying naked with each other. It was nice to be this comfortable with someone I just met. As 4am hit, I realized that there was no way I’d get any sleep if I stayed at his place, we would have easily stayed up kissing and talking all night. I was exhausted and had work the next day. I told him I should leave, he walked me to my car, it was raining, he put his coat on my shoulders although I was already wearing one. He asked if he could see me tomorrow; it was his last day before he left for Australia for three months. I agreed.

The next day, he came over to my place to watch more One Tree Hill, why not? He got his teen drama with basketball, I got Chad Michael Murray. We made out some, but this time, he insisted we actually watch it. He told me he was going to quiz me after and I would have to pass the test if I wanted him to keep kissing me. It was cute. Not many guys I’ve seen over the past few years were capable of sitting through an entire movie or TV show in bed without making a move. We laid there cuddling, talking some, but watching the show. At the end of the episode, he quizzed me, but I failed the test. The questions were very specific so no kisses for me.

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All the kissing and teasing was in his hands, and he loved denying me the pleasure. We watched another episode, this time I was focussed. I wouldn’t let him distract me. I was determined to ace the test. As the second episode finished, he quizzed me again. This time I got 100%, passed with flying colors and the kissing and teasing was on.

As the kissing and teasing progressed, I contemplated fucking him. I really wanted to, but something still held me back. The piercing, maybe. The idea he was leaving the next day for Australia, possibly. Whatever it was, I resisted no matter how sexually charged I became.

There was a moment we paused and caught our breath from all the kissing and foreplay. He suggested a massage. I accepted and let him rub his hands all over my back as I fully relaxed. As he finished up, he kissed me, I turned around, and reached down to his cock. He looked at me in anticipation.

I pushed him over, and had him sit on the edge of the bed and kneeled before him, slowly taking my time kissing down his body, making my way to kissing just the tip. I teased him and licked up and down and then as I started to take him into my mouth, he thrusted. He is that guy, the guy that will try to mouth fuck you. I let it slide for a little bit as it wasn’t too bad to start, but then as the blowjob continued, he grabbed my head and literally face-fucked me fast and hard making me gag. I stopped him, told him to slow the fuck down and if he wanted me to blow him I needed to breath and not feel like I was a fuck toy.

He apologized. He said he was just excited. I got back to blowing him, but was pretty turned off at that point and he still tried to thrust some, but not as aggressively. Ugh, total turn off. Why do guys like face-fucking?

He came on my tits. I wiped them off, then we laid back in my bed cuddling and kissing and talking some more. Around 4am as we both started to drift off, he got up and said he should leave because he still had more packing to do and errands to run before his flight tomorrow afternoon. I walked him to the front door and we said our good-byes and he promised to keep in touch.

Face-fucking aside, I did like him. He was cute, sweet, funny, but he was about to be living on the opposite side of the world for three months. I’ve only known the guy two days. I wanted to trust that we would stay in touch, but I also don’t believe in long distance relationships. Fuck! This is gonna be a long three months… What did I get myself in to?

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

When Two Bloggers Meet

As promised, a post to fill you in on the Turning Fantasy into Reality encounter with J. Reed, the blogger behind The Devil’s Hornet.

Today I met Jermaine (aka J Reed) at a Starbucks in South Shore. I arrived, I didn’t see him, so I ordered a green tea latte for while I waited. Soon after I ordered, he texted asking if I was there, I told him I had just placed my order. The barista handed me my drink, I took it to an empty table near the entrance and responded to some messages and waited. A few minutes passed and he messaged saying there was no parking. I continued to wait.

When he arrived, we introduced ourselves and then got talking about our blogs and how we got into writing them and what drives them. I told him how a friend of mine suggested I write The Boys I Encounter just based on my nature to talk about sex basically 24/7. I told him about an idea I have to take my blog national and fuck my way through the US on a 2-3 month road trip.

About 15/20 minutes into our conversation, he seemed nervous, yet eager to leave the Starbucks and even asked if I was ready to leave. I told him to slow down, we have plenty of time and I have yet to finish my drink. To take his mind off of the fantasy he has painted of us, I pushed the conversation a bit away from that and started to ask him more about his writing and his published works and talked about creative pursuits and trailed into movies and Nicolas Cage and Will Ferrel. I think this part of the conversation was the most genuine moment we had. Something about his eager demeanor and nervousness made the whole interaction a bit awkward for me. I feed off of the energy of those around me, he didn’t seem confident or comfortable, so it rubbed off on me some and I became more reserved.

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I paused, sipped my drink, and looked at him. At that moment, I was contemplating whether or not to go further with him. I could tell he really wanted to take me back to his place as he kept pressing about the fantasy we have built, but I wasn’t necessarily feeling any natural sexual connection between the two of us. I took a moment to step away and go to the bathroom and collect my thoughts. When I returned, we talked a bit more, I finished my drink, and then thought, “Fuck it, let’s do this.” I wanted to see if his skills in bed could match his writing. I asked for his address and we got in our separate cars and met out front his place.

When we got to his apartment, I instantly noticed how vacant it felt. Not much furniture or belongings. It didn’t feel lived in. There was a table in the living room, no couch or seating. His bedroom was basically just a bed and a desk. I took my coat off, set my purse down, and excused myself to go to the restroom again. Maybe a venti green tea latte was a bit much to drink before fucking, but I needed the caffeine as I didn’t get much sleep the night before and I woke up at 6am this morning. By the bathroom there was a girl’s pink scooter. He must have a daughter, I didn’t pry.

Once I got back to the bedroom, I took off my boots and my sweater leaving me in my jeans and tank top. He was standing by the bed, anxiously awaiting to fuck. I walked to him, we kissed for a moment. His full lips kissing mine were good, I love nice full lips as it allows for the perfect blend of suction and tongue. He seemed a bit reserved with the kissing, but that was fine. As we kissed, he unclipped my bra under my shirt, I then lifted my tank and bra up and over my head.

Now topless, he pushed me onto the bed, kissing me, then kissing down my neck, to my nipples. He quickly moved his lips from my nipples to removing my jeans. He admired my body, I pulled him in for a kiss, unbuttoned his shirt slightly and told him to take it off, he stripped completely naked. He then went into kissing my inner thighs. The use of suction was a bit distracting, he kissed and sucked on my inner thighs in almost a lip-smacking suction cup type of way. I prefer a bit of a softer touch, I crave being teased and denied. I need there to be a build up from soft to hard. Although the general idea of teasing was there, it seemed a bit forced and rushed. He didn’t seem at ease at all with what he was doing.

Soon enough, he took my clit in his mouth and licked and sucked away. All this subpar teasing panned out, as his eating skills were definitely there. As he ate me, he rested his hands on my breasts, but just left them stagnant. There was all this tongue action and nothing much more going on, not even any nipple rubbing or body massaging or fingering. Nothing. I guided one of his hands down to finger my vagina and then told him to pinch my nipple with his other hand.

He obeyed. Inserted his fingers and pinched me. Both were a bit off. I told him to pinch me harder, it got better. His fingers were a bit mismatched from his tongue, a bit too hard and fast. I told him to slow down. Much better. Everything started to fall in place, I even got close to cumming, but as I told him to keep going and how good it was feeling, he started to pick up the pace and pressure again throwing me off and taking me out of my orgasm.

His phone was vibrating for a couple minutes at this point. At first I thought it was a phone call and ignored it because I was close to cumming, but then when the orgasm disappeared, I pulled him up for a second, kissed him, and we both realized it was still vibrating. He got up to turn it off, an alarm probably.

He dived right back head first into my pussy, trying to pick up where he left. I tried to get back into it, I let him eat me for a few more minutes, but the moment passed. I wasn’t feeling it anymore. I sat up and kissed him again. He asked if I came. I then told him, “If I came, you would know, you wouldn’t have to ask.” I then continued to explain, “You did really good, you just need to spend more time building it up.”

He was about to go back to eating me, I stopped him and asked if he had a condom. He got up and grabbed one from his jean pocket, and sat back on the bed and told me to get him hard again; every guys way to ask for some pre-sex head, which I wasn’t going to deny him any. I took my sweet time. Kissing him for a bit, working my way down his neck to his nipples gently. I continued to rub his nipples with my fingers and trailed my kisses and tongue down each side of his torso to his pelvis teasing all his pubic bone and his thighs hardly grazing his cock with my lips. As the tease continued, he shook with excitement.

I sat up, smiled and started to lift my hair into a ponytail, he tried to reach up to touch my breasts, I leaned back barely out of reach, I then stated, “That is how you tease someone. It’s about getting that full body reaction before even really getting started.” I then went back to teasing a bit more, and worked my way to licking his shaft slightly and sucking just the tip of his cock, still building up the suspense. As his body quivered, I began to take his throbbing dick in my mouth slowly deeper and deeper, one hand rubbing his nipples and as my mouth came up his shaft I added my other hand below my lips, moving them in unison.

He moaned and shook with excitement. Within minutes of blowing him, he stopped me and declared, “I don’t want to cum just yet.” He then grabbed the condom and unwrapped it. He fumbled a bit, “It’s been a while since I’ve used one of these.”

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I’m not sure if that means he hasn’t fucked anyone in a while, or that he just doesn’t usually use condoms. I let that slide and once he got the condom on, I mounted him, riding his cock, kissing his lips and neck for a brief moment. I then sat upright, pushed my hands against his chest as I swayed my hips side to side and lift myself up and down on his cock. He stopped me again just before he was about to cum.

I unmounted and he directed me to get on my hands and knees. I listened and he entered me from behind, spanking me some, but it felt as though he was hesitating a bit. He fucked me fine. A basic move, but there was no excitement. He didn’t pull my hair, or rub my clit or push me hard into the sheets. Although he has read my blog and has some knowledge of what I enjoy, he didn’t push any boundaries. Once again, I feed off energy and that goes for the bedroom. He didn’t go for kink, so I allowed it to stay vanilla. As he continued to fuck me doggy style, I reached down and played with his balls some, and then with my clit.

I wasn’t feeling it, so I stopped him and turned to face him, now fucking missionary, we kissed and I lifted my hips into his as he thrusted into me. Not much of this and he pulled out, shaking, on the verge of cumming. This was my queue to get up and go pee. I went to the restroom, did my post sex piss, and walked back into the room. He eyed me up and down. I walked to the bed, looked at him, didn’t say anything yet, grabbed my water from the bedside, took a sip and walked to the desk to check my phone. It was 3:30, I considered giving him a little more time, but I was so over it, and kind of hungry, so I walked to the bed, kissed him and told him I was going to head out to grab some lunch before heading to work.

He seemed a little disappointed, but also as if he saw that coming. As we both got dressed, he told me he’d like to spend a day learning more about teasing and denial as most of the time he skips all of that and jumps straight to sex. I told him that could happen, I’d be down to see his skills when I’m properly worked up. He walked me to my car, kissed me goodbye, and I drove off.

I wanted so bad to unleash my kink, but at the same time, it didn’t seem quite right with him. The encounter was so spelt out from our emails it felt a bit contrived. Maybe if I give him the opportunity to tease and deny me and eat me for a day and learn my body, the sex could be amazing, but for today, it was just a fun experiment.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

The Convenient Oral Agreement

For the first several weeks (he will still do this sometimes) Neighbor Boy messaged me to negotiate the terms of our FWB. He has asked what I’m willing to do, what I like, and what he can expect from our arrangement. I never would have thought that this type of communication and negotiation would be necessary in a FWB situation, I usually just let things play out and let the terms unfold over time, but somehow this has worked for us. Because of this, not only were we aware that this was a sexual arrangement between neighbors, but we knew from the start what that meant for us.

The gray area that comes with the beginning of a new relationship came briefly at the start, but left just as quick. It was all of this conversing that created this mutual understanding from the get go.

One of my favorite clauses of our arrangement has to be convenient oral sex. This is something we came up with early on. Neighbor Boy was asking what to expect from our sessions. He was wondering if every time had to be an entire evening or if quickies could be on the agenda. During this, he then proceeded to inquire about blow jobs, and the rest is history.

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Just like that, convenient oral was born. He said he’d be home around 6:30pm or so. I had plans at 9pm, so this would work perfectly. He told me to have my vibe and anal beads on standby, tonight was all about me. He was running late (something I expect of him almost always now). You would think an hour should be plenty of time, but I have a very complex vulva and depending on your style, it could take a while to crack until you learn my body well… This was his first time really delving into eating me. He ate me briefly before, but not a full blown attempt. The later he was running, the less time there was for him to make me cum and I was eager to see what he had going for him.

As 7pm passed. Now over a half hour late, I texted him to see where his ass was. He explained he was just getting home from work and would be up shortly. He came up around 7:30, giving us about 45 minutes until I had to get dressed and ready to head out for the evening. Once again, you would think this is plenty of time, but I have a very tricky clit. Unfortunately for me, my clit is quite small and recessed pretty high under my clitoral hood. On top of this, direct clitoral stimulation is what really does it for me, which is one of the main reasons I got my vertical clitoral hood pierced.

When he came up, he sat next to me on my bed. Neither of us made a move right away. There was kind of an awkward pause. Even though we had already fucked and there was this ongoing dialogue about what we expected from our sexual relationship, this pause got me a bit anxious. I have fucked and have had my pussy eaten numerous times before by various guys in a variety of situations and have gotten over that nervous first time phase and into this confident stride with every guy I’ve interacted with the past couple years. But somehow, this very instance, a few sexual encounters into our budding relationship, I felt vulnerable.

To break the silence, I asked, “What toys did you want me to grab?”

He confirmed, “Your favorite vibe and anal beads.”

I got up, grabbed the toys out of my dresser, and made my way back to bed setting the toys along side us. The awkwardness subsided some, but there was still some slight fumbling. He went in to kiss me. This eased everything a bit more, and as the kiss prolonged, he started to strip me naked, rubbing his hands down my back and grabbing my ass. His full lips pulled away from mine as he worked his kisses down my neck, grazing my collar bone, and tease my nipples with his tongue.

Laying me down, he spent some time on my nipples as he worked his hands on my inner thigh. He then sat up, grabbed the vibe, and started to rub it on my clit and teasing my vagina, watching my face in anticipation. I smirked, and told him, “Add some lube.”

Confused, he questioned me, “You’re soaking wet though.”

I grabbed the toy from him and explained, “I know, but silicone, no matter how wet I am, feels better with lube. It makes it slide in and out much easier and takes away any potential friction.” I then rubbed the toy against his skin to show him how the toy almost pulls on your skin due to friction, added some lube and showed him how slick it became.

I handed the vibe back to him to let him play some more. The toy was an Ina Lelo vibe. Not necessarily the optimal pussy eating vibe, but he insisted I grabbed my favorite vibe so I did. Being a classier rabbit style vibe (it’s more sleek and doesn’t have the “cute” rabbit ears), it’s a duo motor vibe for g-spot and clit stimulation.

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Well as he started to insert it, I instantly jumped back, “Ummmm… that part isn’t meant for my ass! That’s a clit vibe.”

“Sorry, my bad.” He corrected the vibe, and we continued.

As he slid the vibe in and out and rubbed it against my clit, I started to ease into it more. He then went back to kissing my nipples as the toy worked it’s magic some more. I stopped him, “I love my toy, but wasn’t this supposed to be convenient oral?”

He looked up at me and pulled out the vibe, “Turn around and get on all fours.”

I smirked and obeyed. He kissed my back and worked his way down my ass cheek to my inner thighs, then licked my pussy from behind. A very hot move, not a go-to for me, but hot nonetheless. I leaned forward and let him lick and suck on my lips for a few minutes. He then demanded, “Now sit on my face.”

I let out a slight giggle, “Ok, but if you want me to cum, you’re best bet is to have me on my back, something about being able to fully relax brings my orgasms out easier.”

“Just do it,” he insisted as he repositioned himself to lay down.

I listened, swung my leg over his face, placing my clit on his mouth, and pressed my arms against the wall, using it as a prop to push against as I rode his face. His tongue slid up and down between my inner lips. As I pushed my hips back, his tongue would circle above and below my clit pushing my piercing side to side, directly stimulating my clit. When I pulled my hips forward, his tongue would barely graze the entrance of my vagina. Back and forward I moved my hips and let his tongue explore my soaking wet pussy.

Several minutes of riding his face was enough. As hot as it was, I still knew this would not get me to cum.  I rolled over, swinging my leg over his body, and laid down, “I’m not cumming by riding your face.”

“Fine,” he agreed, “Where are the anal beads?”

I handed them to him with lube. As he squeezed out some lube on his hand and slathered it on the toy, I gave him instructions, “I don’t know how much anal play experience you have, but with beads, for me, they aren’t an aggressive in and out toy. Insert, twist and turn a little, maybe pull out slowly and reinsert some, but nothing too excessive. That is until the end… pro tip, as I’m cumming pull the beads out.”

He was a bit cocky, “I’ve done plenty of butt stuff, don’t worry.” His lack of knowledge on my vibrator had me a bit doubtful, but he has shown quite a bit of skill with his tongue, so I let him get to work. He slowly inserted it bead by bead; every bead larger than the one before gave me a slight tinge of pleasure.

As the last bead was inserted, he looked up at me, smiled, then slowly brought his mouth to my clit, licking it, playing with my piercing with his tongue, and making intense eye contact for several long seconds. It has become apparent, he is one of those guys that loves to watch a girl react to everything he does. Although this adds more vulnerability, it was kind of hot.

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With one hand, he played slightly with the beads, the other hand he grabbed my vibe and slowly moved it in and out with the clit vibe rubbing side to side beneath his tongue as he ate me. This was a fucking mind blowing trifecta of pleasure going on. All the stimulation was super hot, but my vulnerability from before kicked in again. I knew how eager he was to please me and that intense stare, although hot, pulled my head away from the action and into a headspace where I was thinking more about his eagerness to please me and overthinking my orgasm.

Everything he was doing was so fucking good, but I needed to snap out of my thoughts. I threw the pillow from under my head aside, leaned my head back, and closed my eyes. Deep breaths in and out, refocussing my thoughts on every flick of his tongue on my clit, the beads in my ass, and the vibe in my vagina.

Inhale, one, two, three, four. Exhale, one, two, three, four. Repeat.

As my mind cleared, my hands started to go numb, then my forearms, then my feet. This was one of the most prolonged orgasm I’ve had. Everything was tingling awaiting a full body release. Literally minutes of numbness and my body still didn’t succumb. It was almost too much stimulation.

I kicked the arm that was controlling the vibe, “Take it out.”

He listened. As the vibe came out, the numbness turned to a tingling sensation, my breathing got heavier, my back arched, a feeling of ecstasy took over. I felt my orgasm coming, “Pull the beads out now!”

As he pulled the beads, tongue still on my clit, my orgasm released, my vagina contracted, and my entire body tensed up with pleasure. Once I came down from that high, I pulled him up from between my legs and kissed him, still catching my breath. “That was fucking hot.”

He then got up, but as he did, I pulled on his hand to sit him back on the bed. Although I had plans, I wanted him so fucking bad. I wanted to blow him and fuck him all night. I went to reach down his pants to grab his cock, he pushed away my hand, “Tonight was just for you, convenient oral at it’s finest. I will get mine soon.”

He wouldn’t let me. I kept trying and he kept pushing me away even though he was rock hard. “I do like how much you want to blow me though,” He added as he got up again to leave. I got up and kissed him, pushing my naked body against his, lingered for a moment, and then let him out.

I looked at the time, it was 9:15pm, I was already late for my plans. I hurried up and got dressed and booked it to the bar.

Convenient oral. Best term to our agreement yet.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

 

Proceeding with Caution

The morning after my encounter with Drunk Neighbor Boy, I woke up early to drive up to the campsite to meet up with my family. Shortly after I got there, he messaged me to apologize for his drunkness and to thank me for coming to his birthday party. Our banter was on point. He asked if he made an ass of himself, I poked fun at all of his ramblings of me being attractive.

It didn’t take too long for him to ask me out. I agreed. He then tried to see if we could hang out that day. I told him I was out of town for the next few days and would be back Tuesday. Without even asking, he then declared that Wednesday we would hang out. Lucky for him I was free.

Wednesday rolled around. No word from him since the morning after his party when I agreed to hang out with him. Now it was getting close to 6:30pm and I haven’t heard from him. I should have just canceled on him, made him think twice before being inconsiderate and not confirming or actually coming up a plan. Alas, I was intrigued by the fact that he lived downstairs and those possibilities, so I messaged him:

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His mention of telling me to wear shorts or tight jeans was a red flag. Who the fuck thinks it’s ok to tell a woman what to wear like that? I still give him shit to this day about it and he still tries to say it was a joke. In spite of his jeans comment, I wore a dress, and not a dress that was revealing. It was just above knee length, t-dress with a high neck line so absolutely no cleavage.

Anyways, after all this, I was starving, he was dragging ass, it was about 9pm by the time he was finally ready. My friend was still chilling, but she was about to head out, I told him to meet me out front in five because I was walking my friend to her car. He agreed. After walking her to her car and then walking back to the front door, I waited. He wasn’t there. I messaged him to hurry his ass up. A few minutes later he finally got his shit together and came out. I instantly gave him shit for his behavior, he apologized but insisted it was a joke.

We walked to DMK burger down the street. On our walk and during dinner we flirted, asked some basic questions to get to know each other, and discussed our expectations. I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship, he agreed. We kind of hit it off now that we understood that we were both interested in casual sex, but I did tell him I would have to proceed with caution.

As we continued this conversation and walked back to our building, he asked more about what I mean with proceeding with caution. I explained to him that because he is my downstairs neighbor, obviously there are times we will run into each other with other people or if one of us catches feelings and the other doesn’t, things can get weird. He assured me that he would be totally fine and that if he saw me with some dude, he would smile at me and we would keep walking. He even threw in there that he would high five the dude or something which made me laugh.

We got back to our building, I invited him up to my floor for a drink. He accepted. We went directly to the bar and I made us each a whiskey ginger. We made our way up to the roof and kept chatting a bit more about our expectations. He explained his thought process, saying that it would be cool to have a fuck buddy that lives right upstairs. I agreed and it definitely felt like we were on the same page. We then started to discuss some of our sexual styles and kinks. We seemed to understand what the other wanted quite well.

He finished his drink and set it down. I took the last sip of mine, and that is when he went in to kiss me, drink cup still in my hand, I felt around to set my cup down, then wrapped my arms around him and kissed him more. The kiss was hot, not quite my style, but still enticing. He rubbed his hands down my back to my ass to grab it. Obviously an ass guy. He then went to lift my dress. I stopped him.

I kept telling him I’m proceeding with caution and I still can’t be sure if him being downstairs is too close to home. He kept insisting that it would work out just fine. I then joked and said, “You might not be any good.”

He laughed and then proceeded to tell me, “You might not be any good,” and then added, “I can show you and then you can show me your skills.”

I laughed, “Hmmmm, maybe…”

Neighbor boy pushed, “Let me eat you, even just for 60 seconds, to give you a taste of what I can do.”

I laughed, “Tempting. But I’m still being cautious.”

He persisted, “Just 60 seconds so I can show you and then you can show me.”

I bit my lip, thinking about how hot it would be, but also hesitant still, “I have yet to have oral or fuck on the roof…”

“So bend over and let me eat you.” He pressed.

“Fine.” I agreed, slid off my underwear, and looked at him, wanting him to give me direction.

“Turn around and bend over.” He asserted.

I listened and bent over, hands on the ledge. He came up behind me, kissed my neck, and bent me over further, my body now pressed on the ledge, he worked his way down and lifted my dress and ate me from behind for a few minutes. Something about being on the roof looking down at the sidewalk was both frightening and a huge turn on. At any moment, someone from the building could try to come up to smoke or someone could see us from across the street. I was getting into more than expected and his oral skills almost met the hype he gave himself.

He stopped, I turned around and kissed him and unzipped him as we made out, grabbing and teasing his dick. Once I got him all worked up, I worked my way down to kneel to blow him. I took him in and out of my mouth, looking up at him enjoying every bit of it. After a minute or two, I pulled away and stood back up.

“Why are you stopping?” He asked.

“You gave me some, and I gave you your 60 seconds and then some, now I’m done.” I explained.

“Don’t stop, let me eat you some more…”

“Ok, but not over the ledge.” I agreed, as much as it was hot, I also have a minor fear of heights.

He took off his shirt and laid it down on the surface of the roof  a bit further back from the front and told me to lay down. He began to eat me for a brief moment, then asked about 69. I agreed. He laid down, I kissed him, then worked my way down towards his cock and straddled his face. This lasted several minutes. It was hot, I was enjoying it, but I also knew at that moment there was no way I would cum from it. I was excited about the possibilities with Neighbor Boy, but wasn’t in a rush to test him out fully that night. I unmounted his face and continued to blow him a few minutes longer then stopped. I worked my way back up to his lips, gave him a kiss, and then stood up to grab my underwear from the front of the roof.

“Really?” He asked.

“I’m not gonna cum like this, I’ll probably go in and grab my vibe…”

“I like watching.” He tried.

I laughed, “There will be plenty more chances for that, but right now, I’m good. You gave me some and you got some.”

He pulled up his pants, zipped up, and put his shirt back on. We made our way back to my apartment. I walked him to the door, kissed him goodbye and went to my room to take my vibe out.

I wasn’t sure what to expect going into tonight, but I am glad he and I were upfront and discussed our expectations right away. This type of arrangements rarely work, even if the two people don’t live in the same building. I still wasn’t sure if it could work, but I was excited to see where things went. The next day he messaged me:

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The endless conversations we’ve had via messenger since this evening have been very open and honest. We’ve both inquired about our experiences, our likes and dislikes, inform if/when we’re sleeping with other people, and have discussions to make sure the other is satisfied with our sex. This is definitely different than most fuck buddies I’ve had, but I like it. It helps inform our sex and shapes our expectations of one another. It’s been good and proves how important communication is especially when sex is involved. More on communication and it’s imporatance another time.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Tinder Douche #2

Tinder Douche texted me the very next day to inform me how he couldn’t wait to nap. I wore him out. I threw it in his face that I slept till 1pm. There was some back and forth flirty banter, but he obviously was more interested in me than I was him. If it was up to me, I would have never seen him again. The sex was pretty good, but him as a person was forgettable, but alas, I was bored and the sex was good enough to keep him around if he’s hitting me up. We texted back and forth for the next two days and he finally caved. He needed me.

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It was obviously a booty call. It was nearly 1am. He has been drinking and in the suburbs dying of boredom. He was trying to tell me he needs an excuse to leave. I told him he could make some shit up and just leave, he’s an adult, he can do whatever he wants. He was then trying to tell me that he wants the excuse to be me, he really wanted to see me right at that moment. He begged and said he would pick me up and drive me home, and begged some more until I said yes. At the moment, it was cute. Looking back, it was pathetic.

On his drive back to the city, there was a car accident. To show me that he wasn’t lying or some shit like that, he decided to facetime me while he was driving. What a dumbass!? Either way, he showed me that the cars were up in flames and he was stuck in traffic because of it. I wasn’t too concerned, he would get there whenever he got there.

At about 2:15am, he picked me up. I don’t know why I agreed to let him pick me up. I should have just drove myself and met him at his place. But that is how life goes, you make decisions and shit happens. As we pulled up to his apartment, he bitched about the lack of parking. All I could think is how he lives in Chicago, and even the cherry to top it, he lives in Lakeview, of course parking is tough to find. Stop your bitching and get over it.

He parked his car about three blocks down from his apartment and on our walk, he wouldn’t stop his complaining about the parking situation. Oh my god, I wanted to shoot myself. This little prick is so fucking annoying and somehow I decided to hang out with him again. On the outside, I faked it. I faked it so hard and put a smile on and said “Sorry, this does suck,” to get him to shut up about the parking. On the inside, I was cussing him out, telling him to get the fuck over it because this is how shit is in the city, sorry if you just moved here a few weeks earlier. Boo fucking hoo that you can’t find parking right in front of your apartment.

We got to his place, he went straight to the kitchen and told me to have a seat in the living room and he was grabbing water. I assumed he would get me a glass too because he asked if I was thirsty and I said yes, but he walked in with just one glass which he was hogging. OK? So I spoke up and grabbed the glass from him and drank the water I had asked for in the first place.

He turned on ESPN… Once again, I was annoyed. I spoke up again and told him I didn’t agree to come over so he could catch up on the sports highlights while I just sit there. He apologized for being inconsiderate, then he surprised me by bringing up art. At first I thought he was being genuine and actually interested when he asked about my opinion about some art that was up for auction at Sotheby’s, but I quickly realized he is a complete imbecile. He was trying to argue with me about how a child could paint the paintings that were up for auction and he couldn’t understand what was so significant about the work even when I schooled him with some art history. His only response once I shut him down was, “Well, that’s not my problem.” Which made absolutely no sense.

I should have left then, but I didn’t. Sometimes I wonder why I make myself suffer. Once the art argument dissipated, we went to his bedroom. He quickly went in to kiss me and the night quickly escalated. All this pent up anger and aggravation I had towards him made the sex more aggressive and hot. He pulled my hair and kissed my neck and stripped me naked and bit my nipples and played with my clitoral hood ring. He was in control and very dominant, a huge turn on despite the overall tone of the night so far.

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He then stripped himself down naked, I quickly noticed he had shave since I saw him last. Not only did he shave his dick bald, he shaved his entire chest. Huge turn off, but I was letting it slide because he quickly plunged his face between my thighs and took his mouth to my clit. And this is where he lost me even more. He had no clue what he was doing with his mouth. I literally had to tell him not to bite my piercing. How can he be so good with his fingers and suck with his mouth? On top of it, once I got him to chill with the chomping on my vulva, he got to a decent licking, but nothing spectacular, he didn’t use his fingers at all. I told him to add his fingers and he seemed confused, like how could someone finger and eat pussy at the same time?

Once I got him to add his fingers, things seemed to be kind of better, but hardly comparable to what my expectations were for him based on his other skills. Maybe five minutes has gone by, and that might be exaggerating, before he gave up. He came up and gave me a “suck my dick because I just ate your pussy look.” I looked at him and told him his job wasn’t done. He then told me, “You’re lucky I just ate you that long, I rarely eat pussy.”

No fucking shit. Of course he doesn’t eat pussy. That explains a lot, and now you’re expecting me to suck your dick? I told him to get back down there if he expects me to suck his dick. He then asked if we could 69 instead. I reluctantly agreed. He was doing somewhat better, but he also kept getting sidetracked by what I was doing and kept trying to push his head aside so he can watch me blow him. I was getting no where and I wasn’t about to let him get off without hardly doing shit for me, so I stopped, rolled over, and told him to grab a condom.

He bitched about that too, telling me he was so close to cumming. I told him he’s lucky I’m still even there, then he stopped his complaining and grabbed a condom. Once again, he fucked me hard. Pulled my hair. Spanked my ass. Pinned me down. Pinched and bit my nipples. Played with my clit. It was hot. I was close. I flipped us over, told him to sit on the edge of the bed, facing away from him, I placed my hands on his knees, and sat on his cock, sliding him into my vagina. I pulled his fingers to my clit, and his other hand up to my nipples to pinch them as I rode him hard. I came. He came. We both came.

I got up, and laid down on his bed as he took off the condom and cleaned up. He then laid next to me and said he was getting tired. I looked at him, and said “Ok? So give me a ride home.” He then said “Not my problem, sounds like a you problem. Catch an Uber home or something.” I cussed him out and told him if he wasn’t giving me a ride home, I could have driven myself. Not that it was that far of an Uber ride or anything, but the ass really had some nerve.

He then proceeded to tell me to leave. I got dressed, went to the bathroom, and when I got out, he was introducing me to his roommate. His roommate looked me up and down and asked Tinder Douche, “So this is the hot bartender you told me about?” as if I wasn’t even there. Tinder Douche continued this side conversation with his roommate right in front of me and told him, “Yea, she’s pretty good in bed… too bad she wouldn’t finish blowing me.”

I then told him off right in front of his roommate, “First of all, you fucking suck at eating pussy. Secondly, grow your fucking body hair. Trim it, don’t fucking shave it. You look like a prepubescent boy and your entire body felt like sandpaper rubbing against me. Thirdly…” This rant of mine continued for a good minute or two.

His response, “Not my problem, sounds like a you problem.”

I didn’t say anything after that. I grabbed my purse and walked out and called a Lyft. A couple minutes later, as I stood there waiting for my ride, Tinder Douche walked out to apologize. He tried to comfort me and tried to kiss me. I was beyond my limits, and pushed him away and called him a fucking asshole. He then kept trying to say he was just fucking with me because he knows I can talk shit and hold my own. I ignored him. He kept talking at me and luckily this only lasted a minute because my Lyft driver pulled up. I walked towards the car, he grabbed my hand, I looked back angrily and pulled my hand away.

As soon as I was in the Lyft, I was relieved to be on my way home. That was a night from hell, and I was glad to be done with Tinder Douche. Not long after I left, he texted:

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He didn’t respond to that text. His next text to me was an emoji crying and a gun, which I thought was him saying he was committing suicide as a dark response to me chewing him out, but I guess he was trying to say he was tired? Either way, I told him he could crash and burn like the cars he saw on the way to picking me up. Dark? Yes. Sorry. But Tinder Douche is dead to me.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

 

 

Threesome? A tale of two dicks…

So during my brief time on OKC, I met a dude (Dick #1) that was super hot and I was totally down for something casual, so I gave him my number. Once we got texting, he proceeded to ask about my sex history, and then asked if I have ever had a threesome. I haven’t, and it is something I really am interested in, so I told him I would be open to it. He quickly jumped in saying that we should have a threesome eventually. Eventually is the key word.

Well that eventually, to me, insinuated that we would meet first, probably fuck, and then discuss a threesome at a later date. No. At least that’s not what that meant to him. He texted his friend and told him about me. I went along with it because frankly, both guys were cute, so why not?

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Dick #1 gave Dick #2 my phone number… Wtf dude?

Dick #1 gave Dick #2 my number without my permission. I still continued to text both of them, but to my understanding still, I was going to meet Dick #1 first before meeting Dick #2. So over a few days, both of them texted me, and I was honest with both of them and answered every question they asked. I enjoy talking about sex and have nothing to hide.

Well Dick #2 kept asking questions like “What is the wildest thing you’ve done?” I told him about when I met Tampa Boy (Red Flags Equal Fun) and he even asked for the full story. I didn’t have time to really text out the dirty details, so I sent him a link to my blog. At this point, I really didn’t care if they were aware of my blog, they’re both down to fuck and have a threesome, I’m sure the blog wouldn’t phase them. At least that’s what I thought…

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Dick #2 got upset that I wanted to meet Dick #1 first. Boo fucking hoo.

We texted all weekend, and then today Dick #2 asked to arrange a time to meet me. I was honest, and told him I had to meet Dick #1 first because he is who I chose to meet from OKC, and Dick #2 is just a third in the mix. Dick #2 got pissed, but at this point, he should have just been ok with it, after all, I haven’t met Dick #1 yet.

As soon as Dick #2 got pissed, Dick #1 texted me to tell me I’m pathetic because they are basically attached at the hip or something. You can read the whole conversation below…

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Dick #1 called me pathetic. Priceless. Really, I couldn’t stop laughing.

Now I’ve come to three different conclusions:

  1. Dick #1 was really just trying to get Dick #2 laid and neither really wanted to have a threesome.
  2. Dick #2 has two phone numbers, set up a fake OKC account for Dick #1 with some hot ass photos to lure chicks in and then was texting as Dick #1 to get himself laid.
  3. Dicks #1 and #2 both got too into my blog and saw my post (Incredulous OKCupid Douche) from yesterday, now they think I’m “flakey” so they both decided to pull out of the threesome.

Either way, lesson, don’t agree to a threesome with someone you haven’t met in person yet. Also, I should really stop sharing my blog with guys I plan on fucking. Lastly, there’s some fucked up people out there, you might be getting catfished, be careful ladies.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

P.S. I’m sorry to those who come to read about my real life encounters, these douchebags from OKC needed a story of their own apparently. I promise, there are several encounters in the works that I’m writing from the past couple weeks, I just need to finish them and edit.

Incredulous OKCupid Douche

I recently reopened my OKC account… it has already been deleted because of the surplus of guys who open with “DTF” and “I have a 5 inch penis” (yes, someone opened by telling me they have a 5 inch dick). This one guy in particular though, we’ll call him Incredulous OKC Douche, was on the edge of meeting me and he fucked up.

I am all for casual sex. I enjoy it. Once he got my number, he started texting obsessively trying to meet up with me and about how he loves watching a sexy white chick suck his dick and how he likes calling women “nasty bitch.” Some chicks like that, personally I don’t. As soon as he told me that, I stopped him and said it’s obvious that our sex styles are different so it probably wouldn’t work. He then told me I’m flakey and that I am all talk.

I couldn’t help but laugh. He is trying to neg me into fucking him by calling me flakey, that shit doesn’t work with me. I know what I want and what I like; he just doesn’t have it. Because he kept trying to push that I was all talk and no play, I sent him a link to my blog and told him to read for himself. I never do that, but he kept insisting that he knew I was fake. The incredulous douche still doesn’t believe me, so I’m posting this blog. So this post is dedicated to you, Mike NYC. Do you still think I’m fake? The proof is in the pudding, too bad you’ll never get mine.

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Some details from our texting last night and today.

For dude’s out there, have class. Yes, you want to get fucked. Maybe the “DTF” and “Suck my dick” lines work for some chicks, but if you tried to be a bit more subtle and throw in some playful banter, a chick might respond better. You catch more flies with honey not vinegar. Have some fucking respect when you’re talking to a woman.

Oh you poor tactless boy, didn’t your mommy ever tell you if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all?

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus