The Boys I Encounter – The Book?

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To all my fellow bloggers and lovely followers, would you read The Boys I Encounter––the book? Are there any posts that you found most intriguing? Any that you would omit? If you have any advice or insight that may help, it would be much appreciated.

I have always thought that when I could afford to put more time into The Boys I Encounter, I would like to turn it into a book, but I also have been dealing with a lot of personal issues since the beginning of 2017 and the dust is finally starting to settle (Fingers crossed).

I have about 71,000 words written for my blog which is basically enough to write a novel… That being said, for the people who have followed my blog from the start, obviously there would be a lot of rewriting to better intersect everything into a complete ongoing story and I would also need to fill in the gaps and finish what has remained unwritten. However, sharing my story to a larger audience would be beneficial, not just to myself, but also to young women starting to explore sex and to survivors of sexual abuse.

Now––as tension about sexual assault and the #MeToo movement is stronger than ever due to the Kavanaugh accusations––I have been reflecting on my experiences and traumas. The book will follow me through my childhood curiosities, teenage hormones, a more thorough explanation of the sexually and emotionally abusive relationships I’ve endured, the aftermath of rediscovering myself, navigating casual sex post abuse, and how all the boys I encountered helped reshape how I interpret healthy sexual and romantic relationships.

If you’re reading this and you’re in an abusive relationship, know that it is never too late to escape. I know from personal experience that it may seem impossible, it may seem that you are trapped, it may seem like there is a silver lining that never comes; I’ve lived it. There is no reason for someone to hold such power over you. You are your own person. Take control of your life and remove yourself from the situation before it gets worse.

You are strong enough to walk away.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

 

Ummmm…. Fuck no!

The afternoon after my 3 Boys, 24 Hours marathon, I woke up to a voice message on Whatsapp from The Australian; he made it home. Soon after, I started to get snaps of him bragging about being on the beach with his brother and cousin. We snapped for a while then started to text on Whatsapp. His first day back and he is staying consistent, keeping to his promise. I set my expectations low for him; I liked him, but with him going back to Australia for three months, I assumed we would lose touch. We shall see though, it was still early.

The next day, Neighbor Boy messaged me asking about my dates, not only generally, but he asked all sorts of questions on them sexually. I told him he was weird for wanting to know. He told me it was to help build trust in our fwb relationship and would make him more competitive. So I started to elaborate, then it sparked an idea; I decided to tell him about my blog.

I rarely tell guys I’m interested in or fucking about my blog. The couple that I’ve told before Neighbor Boy all freaked out and lost interest pretty soon after they found out about my blog. They were perfectly fine knowing I was fucking other dudes, but as soon as they found out that I write about it and that they would be written about, they distanced themselves, so because of this effect, telling boys about my blog became a huge no-no.

With Neighbor Boy, I had a feeling it would be something he’d enjoy, he was asking about my conquests already, so why not have him read all the dirty details as I post them here? And I was right, he was totally accepting of my blog which was a huge relief; I didn’t want to lose my convenient fuck buddy over telling him about my writing.

Shortly after I told him about the blog, he had an hour to kill, so he came up and had a drink with me, my friend Jackie, and a few roommates. We got talking about some upcoming parties we had planned, he then asked if he could bring other girls up to our parties.

“Ummmm…. Fuck no!” I quickly reacted, “Why the fuck would you think it’s ok to bring another chick into my apartment?”

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We argued about this for several minutes in front of everyone. He couldn’t get it through his thick skull that even though there’s large parties at my apartment, that didn’t make it a public place, it was still my home and not a place to invite your other chicks. Period.

He pulled me aside to continue to talk and he apologized, I got so frustrated I even started to tear up. Why was I tearing up? He was an ass, yes, and just a fuck buddy. He was simply pushing the boundaries, but he went too far when he continued to argue with me about it trying to say he saw nothing wrong with bringing other chicks to parties at my place.

As he apologized, he tried to kiss me. I pushed him away, “You, the guy who doesn’t like kissing because it’s too intimate, you of all people should not try to kiss me to make things better in an apology, that is some bullshit.”

I’m not letting him win. He fucked up and he was failing at recovering. He left. I was still frustrated as fuck, but the next day he messaged and we talked it out. I know we were just friends with benefits, but I still think that was a very bold move on his part to think it would be ok to bring up a chick and then continue to argue with me as if he didn’t see what the issue I had was with it.

Maybe I overreacted. Maybe I shouldn’t have cared about the other chicks he would have brought to our parties. What do you think? Where would you draw the line? What rules do you have for fwb relationships?

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

I’m sorry, not sorry, always sorry…. shit

I know I’ve been a bad girl and haven’t posted in forever until last night’s No Tinder, Two Tinder Dates. I’m sorry, not sorry, always sorry…. shit. Life just kind of happened and there was a lot of ups and downs and I think it’s all finally leveling out. I’m gonna do my best to get you all caught up, I’ve got a list of about 20 posts to come, so brace yourself. If they seem lacking at all, it’s because I’ve got a lot of ground to cover and may paraphrase for the next several posts, I want to catch you up and that’s the easiest way to do it. However, I may revisit and update posts later to add some juicy details. Stay tuned…

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Intimacy, Sex, and Freedom

I’m about a week late on this. A year and some odd days ago, I started The Boys I Encounter. First and foremost, thank you to all of my followers. You have liked and commented and supported my blog, and I am grateful you have been there every step and through my ups and downs. I know that sometimes I go weeks without posting and sometimes I post every day for several days straight. Very inconsistent, but that’s life.

A little over a year ago, I opened my blog with my Introduction and quick follow up to declare I’m Taking a Break from Boys. What sparked this urge to write a one year post was actually a boy I was just beginning to forget. This boy is Sexy Six Pack Boy, he re-added me on snapchat today and I realized it has been just over a year since I spoke to him and that he was the pivotal point in pushing me to my boy break and thus the starting point of The Boys I Encounter.

When I saw his name flash on my screen notifying that he added me as a friend, my heart skipped a beat. I knew from the start when I met him that he wasn’t Mr. Right, but Sexy Six Pack Boy, although this masculine sexual being that I met on Tinder, he was actually genuinely sweet. I am generally good at hiding my emotions and not opening up especially when I know there is no potential for more, but he broke me down, and I began to like him.

Maybe eventually I will write in detail that story, but for now, I will leave you wondering what actually happened. How long did we date? What was it about him that wasn’t perfect? Why did my emotional wall break for him? Why did it end?

Right now, although I liked him back then, if he snapped me or texted me, I don’t think I would go back to him. He already fucked that up and it’s too late. He pushed me into my break from boys and got me writing. So for that, I want to thank Sexy Six Pack Boy. Thank you for getting me expressing my views on sex and life and dating. Thank you for making me realize that it is ok to be completely single sometimes. Thank you for helping me break my emotional wall even if that made me vulnerable. Thank you for making me vulnerable and in turn, I am now stronger. Thank you for teaching me what I really want isn’t you and I shouldn’t settle for something that isn’t right for me. And thank you for adding me back on snapchat a year later so I can be strong enough to turn you down.

I don’t need any boys in my life, for the boys I choose to keep around, keep that in mind. You are a part of my life because I want you there. Even if we just met, even if we are just casual, even if we’re just fucking, even if we’re just talking and have yet to fuck… you are someone I want. You have something I desire. You are someone I like.

Once again, I don’t need any boys in my life, for the boys I decide not to see anymore, keep that in mind. If you hurt me, if I don’t want to see you, if we grow apart, if I tell you to fuck off… please leave me alone. I no longer want you. I no longer desire you. I no longer like you.

Through writing The Boys I Encounter for the past year, I have been able to use my blog as a point of reflection, a way to learn more about myself. I know I am not perfect. I know I go through phases of fucking and taking breaks and phases of writing and not writing. I know I open and close and reopen dating apps. I know what I want with sex and what I don’t want. I know I sometimes get in crazy situations, but I also know I can always walk away and have walked away even mid-fuck. I know that I love sex.

The biggest revelation I have found (maybe not associated with my writing, but still important) is that I am leaning more and more toward non-monogamy or polyamory. I don’t think I can be with one person for the rest of my life without the freedom to fuck whoever I please. I am realizing that I crave sex with various people. I am realizing I am good at understanding the difference between sex and intimacy and am capable of separating the two. I am realizing I want intimacy with someone who I can be this open sexual being with. I want someone who can accept me and my sexual needs. I want someone who doesn’t want me to change.

I want intimacy, sex, and freedom. I want to be unapologetically me.

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A snap from me to you, my loyal readers. Thanks. 😉

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Turning Fantasy into Reality

Is it a problem that I can find sex in almost any situation? A fellow blogger who has commented on my recent post Exclusive Fuck Buddies? has lured me away from our flirtatious banter on the comment feed to emailing.

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Well, before I went to email him, I spent some time evaluating his blog, The Devil’s Hornet, further and reading and rereading some of his posts. I have been reading his work for some time now as it appears in my reader, and many times, even before this comment banter, I have found myself wet from his poetry and short stories. A huge turn on. I looked at his profile closer to find we both live in Chicago. Coincidence? Maybe. But I took that as my cue to change this banter about helping him write a fantasy to turning this fantasy into a reality. I’m intrigued to see if he can eat and fuck me as good as he describes in his writing. I sent him this:

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He responded with two fantasies. Both hot. We emailed back and forth about his fantasies and introduced ourselves some and sent a photo to one another. He’s in his late 20s, very attractive, and definitely has potential. I agreed to meet up with him and gave him my kik. We will be meeting Monday for coffee and then plan on making these fantasies come to life. It is always hot when a guy has a way with words, he is no exception, and his fantasies written about us meeting have gotten me extra hot and bothered.

As both of our blogs are very sexual, I’m interested in seeing the juxtaposition of my very blunt real portrayal of what happens between us compared to his romanticized erotic poetic version. We will see if they have any similarities or if our writing is just so different that our encounter lives two completely different stories.

Not to change this from something sexy to something a bit more serious… but am I crazy for agreeing to meet someone (with a high potential of fucking) I met in the comments of my blog? I remember when meeting someone online was taboo and catfishing and the horror stories of people being raped and murdered from meeting someone online. The thought has crossed my mind a few times since emailing him, but I have met numerous people from online dating sites, so I am not really all that concerned. Crossing my fingers that this encounter is everything J. Reed and I have discussed and more.

I will fill you in on all the dirty details after I meet him Monday.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus