We’ll see…

Since returning from NYC, I have seen Chase three times in a month. The pace has slowed down drastically. Before NYC, I saw him three times in a week and a half. I have a feeling it’s coming to an end. He seems more distant and not as responsive when we’re texting, however, this could just be a blip. The past month he’s been stressed trying to find a new apartment and almost didn’t get one on time so he was a bit preoccupied, which I completely understand.

I’ve been the one to initiate texting the past couple weeks, we’ve hung out some, but I can’t get a read on him. Like is his distance stress related or loss of interest related. So now I’m backing off and giving him space. If he’s still interested he will come around. I can’t waste my time trying if he’s not reciprocating. I will give it another two weeks before I completely write him off and if he texts me after that, we’ll see how I feel.

I think the main reason I feel the need to vent right now is because Chase does exactly what I hate when trying to make plans. He doesn’t give definitive answers. I will invite him to see a show or to a party and he will tell me something like “I have work, but we’ll see.” Generally, I read a “we’ll see” as a no, but he’s been a bit different. So far, it’s been fine; he will say “we’ll see” and then he usually comes through. He’s never not shown up when he says “maybe” or “we’ll see” and he follows up the day of if anything changes like if he’s running late.

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I guess he’s an exception to the rule? But really, if I hear a “we’ll see” when a guy means no, I would rather hear a no. How difficult is it to be honest and give a yes or no? Or if you’re busy, just tell me that at the moment you’re busy moving or whatever is going on in your life and that you will contact me sometime next week or whenever it’s a better time and then actually follow through. Or if you’re no longer interested, instead of dragging shit out, just be an adult and say that you’re not interested. There is so much time wasted in dating by people that can’t clearly communicate what’s going on in their lives or be honest and tell someone when they lose interest. Fuck the term “We’ll see.” If people communicated better, dating would be easier for everyone.

Rant over. As for Chase, we’ll see….

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Doodling and Stalking

Doodling your crushes name a million times is the childhood equivalent to facebook/social media stalking your crush. Think back to when you were a kid. I remember being in elementary school when I would write my crushes’ names with hearts and writing in my diary about them all the time. It was obsessive. What drives us to do this?

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His name was Jeremy. I’ve known him since preschool. Suddenly, in 2nd grade, he was the only thing I could think about. My best friend Kelsey had also developed a crush on Jacob. We both thought it was serendipitous that our initials for our crushes and us matched so we both wrote just the first initials “K+J” in all our notes and hearts to be more secretive.

When I would spend the night at Kelsey’s, there were many hours spent just talking about Jeremy and Jacob while simultaneously doodling away “K+J 4Ever,””Mr. & Mrs. K + J,”etc. We would then stash these doodles and notes in a box that was put under her bed.

At Kelsey’s birthday party, all of the 2nd grade was invited to her place. There was a bouncy house, games to play, and a coloring table with both coloring books and scrap paper. Well I guess some of our doodles didn’t make it into the box because somehow a few of them ended up in the pile of scrap paper. This boy named Brandon found it, and because it was at Kelsey’s place, he announced that Kelsey has a crush on someone with the letter J.

I was relieved that he didn’t assume it was me, but Kelsey was mortified. We were still at the age where boys and girls thought it was gross if someone liked you, but at the same time we were all starting to slowly develop crushes.

I lived in a small town, so there were only about 30 kids in our grade. Surprisingly, though, there were four guys who had names that started with J. Jeremy, Jacob, James, and Joey. Although it was mortifying for Kelsey at the moment, nothing really came from it after that day. No one pried enough to figure out who she had a crush on and life went on.

Looking back at it though, if we were older, would the boys cared more to figure it out? Would it have worked in our advantage for our crushes to find out we liked them? At what point do you reveal to your crush that you like them?

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I’m 27 now. Having a crush seems like a weird past time, but in reality, I get crushes all the time. I realize I have a crush (as in I like someone but nothing sexual/romantic has happened yet) on someone or that I actually have emotional feelings for someone I’m sleeping with when I start to pay attention to their Facebook. Not just in my news feed, but I will look them up and look at their photos and posts. The more I do this, the bigger the crush. I’ve recently wrote off boys emotionally, so suddenly, my social media use has dropped significantly. I’m not constantly checking my crushes’ statuses and recent photos. It is kind of a relief to stop thinking so much about boys.

However, during my break from boys, I’ve started to wonder if people should just be straight forward and let someone know that they like them. The worst that could happen is that they tell you they don’t have feelings back. On the flip side, they might feel the same way. I would save so much time and energy if I just asked out my crushes instead of waiting for them to possibly come to me. But then again, is that too forward? Why is it that women are to sit back and wait for the guys to chase them? Maybe once I’m done with my break, I will try to be more honest and forward instead of sitting back waiting for my crushes to chase me.

Just something I’ve been thinking about during this break.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Fuck the Cum Trees!

You know it’s spring when the smell of semen fills the air. Lovers are out and about mingling, birds are chirping, and the terrible jizz scented blossoms of the Callery Pear trees bloom. The smell of sperm is absolutely nauseating and this is coming from a woman that loves sex and gives blow jobs on the regular.

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In fact, I love giving blow jobs. I love oral sex in general. But there is no way in hell I will ever swallow, let alone let a guy cum in my mouth ever again. I will literally vomit. It’s already happened a few too many times. I did my due diligence by trying and it will never happen again. I’m a supertaster, I’m not necessarily a picky eater, but there are definitely things that will physically make me queazy and semen is one of them.

I’m not just trying to bitch about the taste of cum. I want to express how important it is to only do things that you are comfortable with. If you don’t like when a guy cums in your mouth or you don’t want to be felt up while making out with someone or if you don’t like a particular sex act, speak up. Say no. If the guy you are with can’t grasp the word no and keeps pushing the issue, he is obviously an asshole. Get the fuck out of there.

If there’s something he wants to try and you are willing to try it, go for it. If at any moment, you become uncomfortable, let him know that you want to stop. Once again, if he wants to keep going or keeps pushing it even when you tell him you want to stop, he’s a fucking asshole. Walk away from the situation, he isn’t worth it.

Only you get to decide what you do with your body and what you are comfortable with. Don’t let assholes try to change that. Do you.

Fuck the cum trees! They always ruin my love of long walks in the park.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Cooties: the STI of the Playground

We’ve all been there. We have all been a child and have played hide-and-go-seek or tag or something on the playground with all your friends. Everyone is running around chasing one another, laughing, having a great time. Then there’s a shift in the game. Someone starts telling everyone that so-and-so has cooties. Now hide-and-go-seek becomes a game of avoid-the-cooties. A stigma is attached to cooties when you’re a kid. No one wants to be caught near the kid with cooties to prevent catching it.

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When this started happening, I was baffled. There never seemed to be anything wrong with the people who caught cooties, they just suddenly had it. Confused about cooties, I asked my sisters one day after school. They laughed and told me that cooties weren’t real, just a made up disease kids use avoid the opposite sex.

The next day, when we were all let out for recess, a group of girls and I were on top of this climbing structure of the jungle gym gossiping about who had cooties. I thought this was absolutely ridiculous, especially after my sisters told me cooties were fake. I told the girls, “Cooties aren’t even real!”

One of them replied, “Yes they are! Have you seen Nathan lately? He’s covered in cooties!”

Aggravated, I climbed down and went to find Nathan. He was playing in the sandbox alone. As I approached, he said, “You might not want to get close to me, I have the cooties.”

I then told him, “It’s fine. Cooties aren’t even real. My sisters told me.”

He then said, “Are you sure?

I replied, “Even if they are real, you look fine to me.” Then an awesome idea came to mind and I then added, “Want to give everyone cooties? Tag me, then you and I can go chase everyone and spread our cooties to everyone.”

And that’s exactly what we did. At first, people were grossed out because we infected them, but soon enough, everyone was running around screaming and laughing. We eventually all had cooties. We all survived to tell the story.

Fast forward to adulthood, moral of the story…

I’m not trying to tell you to that if you or someone you knows has an STI you should contract it and try to spread it so everyone has it. That would be wrong. What I am trying to say is perhaps you should consider others’ feelings before telling everyone that someone has an STI. That is their private business. They don’t need the stigma to follow them everywhere they go. That, plus a lot of STIs are curable, and the ones that aren’t, many are still manageable.

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If you’re sexually active, especially if you’re not in a monogamous relationship, get tested regularly and use protection y’all.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

Stop Acting and Start Reacting

“Are you a moaner or a screamer?”

This is a question I have heard from multiple guys, but why do I have to be one or the other? In fact, why is moaning or screaming a necessary indicator of the female orgasm?

I was thinking about this the other day because a roommate of mine has a chick he’s currently sleeping with that makes the loudest sex noises. I’m fine with hearing people have sex, but damn! This girl just moans and moans and screams; not just during orgasm, but the entire time they are fucking. The first time I heard it, I was woken up at 3am on a weekday to her moaning. I literally thought that one of my roommates was watching porn at full volume. It wasn’t until the next morning when I ran into the girl in question that I realized someone had company over. Once again, I have nothing against hearing people fuck, but even other roommates of mine agreed that this chick was over the top in her sex noises. The entire 9 person household was able to hear her across the 6,000 square foot artist loft.

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This then got me thinking about myself and the noises I make. I masturbate pretty regularly. Depending on how sexually active I am at the time, I will masturbate at least 1-3 times in the week, sometimes more if I am really horny. I orgasm 99.99% of the times I masturbate, and every time I orgasm, it’s not marked by moaning or screaming, but by my body tensing, back arching, vaginal contractions, and heavy breathing. I don’t need to moan or scream no matter how strong an orgasm I am having.

Don’t get me wrong, sometimes dirty talk, moaning, or screaming can be absolutely hot in the moment, but for me, it isn’t necessary. In fact, whenever I moan/scream more actively during sex, I feel like I become more focused on how I sound than how I feel in the moment. It seems almost like an act, not that I’m faking an orgasm, but still a false reaction to the sex.

Do I need to moan or scream or make whatever noise is expected of a woman during sex to make sure you know I’m enjoying myself? Fuck no! If a guy is attentive, takes his time to explore my body, and knows how to read me based off how my body reacts, he will know I enjoyed myself. Added sound effects are fine, but not necessary.

Many guys I’ve slept with have expressed their enjoyment in making a girl moan or scream to me. Statements I’ve heard from guys include:

“The louder you get, the more turned on I get!”

“I wanna make you scream!”

“I love hearing you moan.”

“Cum for me! Cum for me!” – First off, I hate when a guy tells me to cum for them, it usually takes me out of the game. But this guy was actually doing an amazing job eating me out. He was a master at using his fingers on my g-spot, licking my clit, and playing with my nipples simultaneously. As he looked up to tell me to cum, I was already extremely close, then he buried his face back into my vulva, tickling my clit with his tongue again.

This one statement “Cum for me!” although doesn’t directly state anything about noise in that very moment, tops the list still because of his reaction afterward. When I came, my build up and reactions were as follows: I let out slight quiet moans/whimpers as my breathing got a bit heavier, my back started to arch, I kicked his hand away from my vagina (I have a tendency to do this, something about simultaneous g-spot/clit orgasms get too intense sometimes), and then unleashed a full body quivering release orgasm. I then pulled him up to kiss him.

I guess I didn’t moan or scream loud enough because after everything was said and done, he asked, “Did you cum?” I told him that I did with a smirk across my face because the orgasm was mind-blowing. Then he said “Oh, I didn’t realize because you didn’t really react.”

If he was paying attention to my body, he would know that I reacted. My entire body reacted. Perhaps if I kept his fingers in my vagina, he would have felt the contractions and known for a fact that I came, but even then, he probably still would have questioned it because of the lack of noise.

It’s obvious that porn has skewed many men’s perspectives on what sex is supposed to be like and many women have catered to this. Men, please learn that noise doesn’t mark an orgasm. And women, do what you do naturally. If moaning or screaming is what actually gets you to cum or you really like doing it, great. If you’re just moaning and screaming because you think that’s what is expected of you or you’re faking an orgasm altogether (which is worse and another topic of discussion for another time), consider taking a step back and find what really works for you. Once I stopped moaning and screaming for my partners based on their expectations, I feel like my orgasms came easier and were actually stronger. After reevaluating my reactions, everything felt more natural; I was thinking less about how I sounded and more about how I was feeling.

Stop acting and start reacting.

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

French Kiss?

Sex, although a very adult action, is something in the back of people’s mind from an early age. We might not be aware of it, but a child’s curiosity inevitably leads to questions about sex.

Why do boys have wieners?

Where do babies come from?

Mom, why do you have hair there?

These are all questions I have asked my parents when I was a young child and it didn’t stop there. My questions went beyond asking my parents, as did the questions my peers had.

Growing up, my family was close with our neighbors. When my parents needed it, my neighbors would watch my siblings and I, and when the neighbors needed their kids watched, my parents would do the same. Between two houses and a duplex, there was 16 kids. It was great, we always had a blast playing together.

One moment I remember in particular was when my older sister Ashley, my neighbor Luke who was around my age, Luke’s older sister Hannah, and myself were watching TV. There was a kissing scene and after the kiss, the guy went to his friends to brag about it by saying, “I kissed her! Not even just a kiss, but a french kiss.”

Being only five years old at the time, I had no clue what a french kiss was, so the curious child that I was, I asked Ashley, “What’s a french kiss?”

Ashley’s response, “It’s kissing, but with tongue.”

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The show continued. Luke and I were sitting on the floor waving our feet back and forth. His foot would hit mine, then I would hit his foot back. It was playful. Ashley and Hannah saw this and thought it was cute.

They chanted, “Luke and Kallie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…”

“Stop!” I yelled, annoyed that they were making fun of us.

Our sisters giggled and stopped chanting. Luke and I stopped waving our feet and even put space between us. We continued watching the rest of the show. Then our sisters left to go do whatever it is they were doing, leaving Luke and I alone in the living room.

After several minutes passed, Luke broke the silence and asked me,  “Do you want to kiss me?”

“No,” I exclaimed. “Do you want to kiss me?”

There was a pause. Luke then asked, “Do you want to try it?”

I hesitated, then one upped him, “Want to try a french kiss?”

He agreed, then after a bit of deliberating, we decided the right way to french kiss was to count to three then stick our tongues out and touch our tongues together.

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We simultaneously counted “One – Two – Three” and both of us stuck our tongues out and touched just the tips together. We both jumped back, scrunching our faces, completely grossed out by  our tongues touching one another. He spit from disgust, I grabbed my juice box and chugged it to wash out the taste of our french kiss.

Whether I knew it or not at the time, my curiosity about sex was blossoming at age five. I might not have been mature enough to know what sex is, but I wanted to know things. Sex is something I have always been intrigued by.

Until next time…

 

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus

I’m Taking a Break from Boys

What? You’re confused aren’t you? You came to my blog expecting a whole slew of stories about sex. Well, you are partially right, there will be stories about sex and boys and stuff, but that’s further down the line. First I will have to give you some background so you can fully understand my sex life and me.

At the moment, I am taking a break from boys. I have spent all my energy in boys since I’ve gone through puberty. I can’t remember the last time I was truly single post puberty. Since I was a teen, there has always been a guy in the picture. I’ve been in a few serious relationships with lots of casual flings between. There has never been a break, and it’s about time I take it. Now it’s time to focus on some much needed me time.

Recently, I spent way too much time dating. This is a premeditative break. I literally told my roommates that as soon as I was done with Sexy Six Pack Boy, I was quitting boys. Sexy Six Pack Boy is from Tinder (obviously), and he lasted longer than expected, but like most online dating, it fizzled out. I will tell you the full story later on… don’t worry; there will be steamy details.

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Temporarily getting rid of boys will allow me to refocus my priorities and spend more time on my career, friendships, and just general life things that fell by the wayside. This break will also give me plenty of time to fill you in on key sexual life events from my curiosity as a young child, confusing prepubescent moments, adolescent experimentation, up to my current adult sexual activity. I will also sprinkle in some ideas & opinions & other stuff as I think about sex and it’s role in my life.

I’m a very sexual person. This break will be tough, but I think my toys will keep me occupied when I need some relief.

Wish me luck!

 

Yours Truly,
Kallie Pygus